The screenplay of life

The human mind is an influential apparatus, highly capable and adept; it can fashion marvels as well as facilitate demolition at its whim.  Cognitive abilities that it originates are forever tinted with an emotional tone. The subjective color of this emotion is known as mood. Moods may well be understood by shade; dark, bright, grey, dull, shining and occasionally blinding too. Long lasting and repetitive moods paint character. They transform the persona; allowing for the angelic halo and the devilish horns to occasionally show up and blush the environment with its virality.

Truth about paranoia

Thinking wrong…

Fruitful thought processes are those that lead to pleasurable emotions, satisfying feelings and beneficial outcomes for all. It’s not uncommon to think negatively, worry excessively and ponder repeatedly over negative and worrisome possibilities (not even realities!) And it costs us the happiness and peace of a lifetime; yet we cling on to thought processes that disrupt relationships, destroy friendships and break connects. Faulty thoughts have specific recipes. So does disaster. If you know what messes the dish, there’s a possibility that you can beware of those ingredients…

Think about it…

We think over 1000 thoughts a minute. This is true for most people not just the highly intellectual ones who think even harder! Thinking is almost involuntary. The mind travels in the vaguest of directions; it is unchained, it is free. To soar to the heights it deems or delve to the depths it desires. A thought is a cognitive activity, something one is aware of in subjective consciousness. Thoughts can be channelized, focused and directed; or they may indeed be muddled and disorganized. They involve arrangements of ideas that may be real or imaginary. Thinking offers meaning to existence. A world without thinking would be relatively meaningless. Thoughts are the most important cognitive processes; wherefrom arise emotions, memory and behavior. There is little one can do in this world without thinking. We occasionally remark when we hear something we feel is bizarre: 

• What were you even thinking?
• What do you think of yourself?
• Do you think before you talk?
• What do you think about this?

We think about thinking more than we are even aware...

Listen to your dreams...

The royal road

Sigmund Freud explicated dreams as the royal road to the unconscious. The path where we are all kings and queens; oblivious to the tribulations of the wearisome world, where yearnings are fulfilled and wishes granted. The unconscious mind is always unchained, unrestricted and unobstructed. Dreams are the mind's insensible fulfillment of sub conscious desires. The waking mind may not accept a valiant disclosure of love or uninhibited expression of resentment. But dreams allow this completion. They are uninhibited. The unchained mind can soar to heights and breathe in great depths too. So it makes the best of that freedom. It dreams.

How dependent are you?

Humans are needy from the moment they’re born. Among the entire animal kingdom, Homo sapiens babies are the most dependent; for food, care, nurturance and comfort. With age, they do ripen their ability to shoulder personal responsibilities and deal with challenges that life offers along its path. Sometimes their progenitors over indulge and inculcate disproportionate dependency; however there is still possibility of independence if emotional and social development take place appropriately. In an ideal world, one takes accountability for personal actions and their outcomes. This allows for self-reliance and offers a sense of security which is a mandate for a fulfilling existence.

Great Expectations

A dictionary elucidation of expectation is something that’s most likely to happen; a belief that may or may not be representative of reality. Anticipations are unquestionably centered on the future; something that not even genius can predict. Expectations can have beneficial outcomes: when they are met there is indeed a sense of triumph but lesser advantageous results assure frustration. If something good happens (that was not at all expected) it counts as wonder. Expectations do take up a large proportion of thought and emotion. Behavior towards people, events and even one’s own self is significantly set by expectations.

Learning to connect

The world we live in has collective unconscious networks. Carl Gustav Jung proposed that everyone has a 5% of their consciousness common with every other being on the sphere. Several intertwined associations, dependence, interdependence and counter-dependence. There is always too much that holds people together, sometimes even in a pathological manner. Colors can blend into a mosaic, or end up as a dark muddled blob, depending on how they are merged. Twine rightfully braided forms a beautiful pattern whereas left by itself becomes a messy inseparable coil of knots. Connections need to be precise. That is when messages are transmitted dead-on and relationships are nurtured.

WOW: The path to success

Winning has gained prominence in today’s world; however victory is vital to the human who wins, not to the world itself. The world merely prepares for and enjoys the game. Success enhances self-regard; however success as well as self-regard, are misnomers. The fun in the game and self-growth that occurs through the process is the ultimate goal. There are several paths, some seem appropriate to few, others view them as inadequate. Reality is static but percepts of it vary. Hence there are innumerable ‘right’ paths for different people. More so, they are defined as ‘right’ only after they give expected outcomes. You would never know what’s right, right at the outset!

Are you on the winning team?

Now ‘winning and losing’ is something we have known at the outset in childhood itself. Being the winner oneself is just one dimension, even cheering for the winning team is imperative; else you’re a ‘loser’. When we spend those large sums of money on attending live games, or betting on racing horses, it’s your respect at stake not the horses’! We gamble, and if we lose, we lose the game, the bet, probably some money, and apparently our self-regard too! What an irrational world this planet has become!

Games people play

Ever encountered a time when the best of your friends seemed to not care? When your partner seemed like a stranger; mother a tyrant and father an enemy? The earth seemed to be rotating in the wrong direction, sun setting in the east and most questions remaining unanswered? Relationships seeming estranged for the minutest of reasons, often without any. And it all seemed like the world was playing games with you. Games you had no awareness of, hence no methods known, no rules identified, and no processes acknowledged. Of course winning such a game is out of the question. But knowing the games; more so being cognizant of their aims helps to play them better. Life can become interesting and indeed fun too!

Footloose

Living like a hermit

We are only too comfortable in our skin. We don't want to adapt; we expect the world to mould itself around us; while we continue to be the fixated rock of Gibraltar. Life is simulated to a pack of instant food today; easy solutions, quick fixes, laid-back attitudes. The inertia makes the unruly clay of personality hard, and disallows any movement from the static. One becomes rigid, inflexible, stubborn and arrogant. What starts as inertia, culminates in broken friendships, messy relationships and poor social connects. All just because we were too stuck to our position and resisted change. Change that could allow growth. Change that could make all the difference. Change that could move mountains. But change that required some effort. Effort that we thought we were incapable of putting in...

Characterological DepressionShefali Batra

When negativity and pessimism get deeply ingrained in one’s persona, there is a transformation in the outlook towards life. It seems like life was never worthy, things never happened right and relationships never worked. When there are no persevering memories of happiness or contentment, the mind cannot retain images of sanguinity. When asked to recall happy and positive moments, one usually denies their existence. There is thus no baseline to get back to.

Depression: many faces

Sadness does not even begin to describe what depression is all about. The emotionality, thought processes, irritability and changes in daily lifestyle transform the individual in totality. Known devils are better than unknown ones. You can prepare for their arrival and combat them better when they do! Knowing the faces of depression helps identify emotions better and deal with them appropriately.

Making the most of your time

A given life in a mundane existence; where we sleep, wake, cook, clean, eat, drink, work, shop, smile, exercise, laugh, cry, struggle, grow old, get sick, die…. There are several more verbs to be added in that list of activities that ordinarily comprise usual life events. Some of us go places; entertain, serve, lead, conquer; yet a similar existence for all. A specified time for each one; a tenure called life. It’s worthwhile to make the best within it; there are no guarantees of a repeat opportunity in this same sphere. It’s wise to make the most of the time you have within the palm today. It’s never easy to hold the sand in for too long. Sooner than later, it slips from between the fingers and you realize: my time has passed… 

Will it happen? Yes only if YOU will it

The depth of human abilities are yet to be fathomed. Einstein used 6% of his brain and yet was regarded the most intelligent man till today. Some of us barely put to use a fraction of that and yet feel overwhelmed, overworked, tired  and burdened. Awareness of your own potential allows you to prepare for its appropriate use. What a waste of human talent in this world today; few know what they are capable of, a handful have an idea but are far from converting it to reality, while the rest are oblivious to self growth, innate potential and instinctive learning . Fear of failure has become a ready justification for inertia. There is never surety of success in spite of the penultimate effort. But refusal to try assures failure. That's more than definitive.

Goals: are they set right?

Routinely, we have a gazillion goals we want to fulfill. Rightly so if a footballer doesn't intend to score a goal, he’s nothing short of a fool kicking a ball around purposelessly in the field. Goals are essential, goals are important; goals give purpose to action. We want to lose weight, get confident, voice opinions, be punctual, finish reading that book, start studying for upcoming exams, propose to our love, seize the day... There are desires, wishes, dreams and wants; those are not goals. Goal setting has always been a very tedious task; accomplishing it; another challenge in itself. Destinations need to be set; and the path to reach there ought to be chalked too. The perfect and most beautiful destinations on the mountain tops need a path else no one can reach up there to bask in the beauty. The exquisiteness loses its worth if there’s no one to know it. We need to appreciate the beauty. We need the path to that goal…

All the world’s a stage

Shakespeare can be well described as a psychoanalyst who knew well that the persona accepted by every human being is a mask. This makes each one an actor playing his part in the drama titled ‘life’. It’s indeed an act, not a puppet show, emphasizing that the part is played by the performer, who has the right to choose the way he plays it. A show where there’s no director, producer or scriptwriter. A performance that is made at free will…

The truth about fury

There’s hardly anyone who’s never been angry, not ever snapped in a fit of rage, a storm of fury or blizzard of wrath. Anger is an innate human emotion; a response to frustration, stemming from lack of fulfillment of what one (supposedly) needs, wants or craves. Anger is damaging yet it is ubiquitous. If only we were strong enough to use the RIGHT defenses to shield our shortcomings...

Whose side are you on anyways?

every oyster doesn't bear a pearl

There are always choices, decisions, and verdicts offered; along with pronouncements expected of us at every stage in life. There are forever options. And choices have to be made between:

Right               Wrong

Left                 Right

North              South

Black               White

Truth               Lies

Real                 Fake

There is day and then there is night. But there is dawn and noon and dusk and twilight too. The world we know has black and white but it offers the options of gray. Yet preponderance and predilections guide your decisions. Two sides to a coin, two directions, two paths, two poles, two elements, two faces. What matters in life is whose side you take and what choices you make.

Caterpillar to butterfly

Have we endured transformation like that of the caterpillar to a butterfly? An epiphany of sorts, altering the persona in incredible and inexplicable ways? Or an astounding change we observed in another, enough to pronounce: ‘Look at him! A while ago, he had given up on life. Wanting to slaughter all existence of himself end everything that connected him to reality; see him now, what a miraculous makeover!’ How did that transition take place? How does one grow (not merely with age and in size) but in character, ability and performance?

Is it all OK? Maybe not?

The perfect world

We await that picture-perfect moment for doing things we always knew we need to do but assumed it wasn’t the right time. The perfect moment to propose to your loved one, the absolute instant for the big business move, the important investment or essential partnership, what more, the right time for a healthy diet, exercise pattern and sleep hygiene; all need apposite scheduling for them to run smooth. Specific patterns to be followed and unambiguous arrays to be maintained; perfection is a commendable dream and each of us desires that impeccable world where everything works without a glitch.

Psychiatry? Psychology? Thats crazy!

I’m not crazy! You are!

My child does not pay attention 
He can’t sit at one place for long 
His mind meanders in no time 
Kids these days are just sluggish 
They find excuses to evade study 
Teachers at school just complain 
Parent 1: I don't know what to do about this behavior; I can’t comprehend how to deal with this issue. Every time I meet his teachers they nitpick about how careless he is and how restless he gets at time, it’s so embarrassing for me. Maybe something is wrong with those teachers. 
Parent 2: Well, have you considered taking him to a doctor? 
Parent 1: Why do I need a doctor? He just needs to be spanked and grounded only then he will understand how to behave. 
Parent 2: Your child may have a behavior issue or an adjustment problem; you could consult a psychiatrist and resolve this issue while he is still young. Probably hitting him and punishing him will worsen the situation 
Parent 1: Huh! Why does my son need a psychiatrist? He is not mentally ill. He is not crazy or retarded. He is fine. I know what to do with my son. He's not crazy, you are!

Whose fault is it anyways?

What went wrong?

When so much in love and so drowned in passion, why do relationships get tarnished? Why at the most convoluted moments in life are empathy lost and connections broken? Why does nothing seem enough and then things fall apart? Why is there an end to a beautiful married life? Who is to blame? What did I do to deserve this? I gave it all I could and this is what I got? Why did this happen? How could this happen? Well, too may seemingly straightforward questions and never an answer to suffice. 

What do we know about love?

What we think we know

A thumping heart, tingling in the stomach, sweaty palms, glistening eyes, a blush, a smile, the feeling of being wanted, an amorous virile sensation of colors seeming effervescent and music more livid; the flow of vitality between two people when they look in the other’s eye, sensuality, triggering the constant thought about ‘the one’; is what poets, writer, and lovers imagine and accept to be ‘LOVE’. Love has often been researched and explored; yet remains an enigma to many.

Forgetfulness and Dementia

Memory

Memory is one of the most essential cognitive functions of the brain. Intellect, learning, communication, problem solving; all require an intact memory. For years together, our brain learns and retains new concepts and uses stored information to solve problems. And then one day, after many years, this ability declines and we begin to forget what we once knew. Dementia is a brain disorder in which one cannot remember what was learnt in the past and also, one is unable to retain new information. It is well understood as a deterioration of the memory, intellect, as well as personality; and manifests as a complete transformation of behavior, demeanor and thinking.