Dual Sex Therapy

Sexuality is an important component of existence, a basic human need and a non trivial factor in assuring holistic health and wellness. Passion drives all humans. Understanding human sexuality, it's mandates, requisites and preferences is essential to attain fulfilling sexual experiences. Sexuality isn't a taboo as once was deemed. It is a matter of deliberate choice and making the right choice for oneself is always prudent. A blend of the appropriate desire to please and the incessant will to satisfy; over and above the wish to experience pleasure oneself drives the sensual soul. Sex therapy is aimed at increasing personal and interpersonal awareness of self as well as the other's needs. Each participant is encouraged to focus on their own varied sensual experience rather than to see physical satisfaction as the sole goal of a sexual encounters. This enriches the self as well as the relationship.

Behavior Modification

Origin of civilization and behavior
Edward Thorndike was the first person to describe behavior therapy in 1911. He was focused on methods that modify behavior. Clearly, there was a reason to wish that some particular behavior be altered; thus implying that behavior can become malfunctioned and subsequently requires timely repair like a mechanical or electrical devices. Behavior therapy is as old as civilization itself. Asking a third person for advice regarding how to deal with the ill impact of another’s actions on oneself is behavior therapy. There are wide ranges of techniques that can be used to change the behavior of oneself or another. Pure behavior therapy without mindfulness is seen in animals (it is well understood as training). Human behavior is usually connected with thoughts and feelings. These are incorporated in the therapy paradigm. 

Self Control (3)

Brain wiring

Resistance to impulse fulfillment can be attributed to specific areas of the human brain with alteration in neurochemical levels that promote (or when appropriate, protect from) rash decision-making. Broadly, the processing of thought and its systematization into rational evaluations is a knack known to few. Most act on gratifying impulses, failing to exercise any restraint on their needs and urges. It’s fun at times to make sudden plans and act on instinct in emotional situations if the outcomes are favorable. However normalcy is defined by the ability to be either impulsive or controlled depending on which is the most adaptive. Wise choices begin with an awareness of their existence.

Changing cues

Outcome focus

Nullification

Token economy

Remembrance

Overcooking

Loss identification

Reinforcer 4: Negative punishment

A conventional probability of defined outcomes raises the prospect of certain behaviors if there is a well-established contingency pattern between them. If you know that action A is going to root action B (which already is something you deeply desire) it’s natural for you to follow that particular behavior pattern. Behaviorism is a well-researched but quite a convoluted science. Nonetheless, its practical implications are as lucid as common sense. An action that brings favorable outcomes usually reinforces itself. And behaviors that need to be reinforced get implanted according to the strategies that have been used to cement them. There are several reasons why humans behave the way they do. These ought to be suitably understood to improve conduct. We know the 4 typical behavior modification paradigms:

• Action followed by reward should lead to repetition of that action
• Behavior succeeded by punishment must decrease its frequency
• Deeds that prevent negative consequences tend to get reinforced
• Actions that cease positive outcomes should diminish themselves

Although all seem to overlap, the context of using behavior modification in different situations affects the behavior change that occurs transiently or for evermore.

Reinforcer 2: Punishment

Behaviors require a powerful meshwork of reinforcement for them stand strong. Habits may be regarded as behaviors that have solidified over time with constant cementing; they seem rigid and unbreakable. Reinforcers are to be applied rightly to shape behavior appropriately. While reward may seem like the commonly applied reinforcer, punishment is more than often used in homes, schools, as well as society at large to terminate negative and ill behaviors.

Reinforcer 1: Reward

Behavior Change

Behavior demands contingency responses that strengthen or weaken its chances of repetition. Everything that a human does is typically expected to instigate reaction in another. These reactions themselves form the behavior of other individuals. The cycle pretty much continues until these behaviors of people begin to influence their emotions and thoughts. The chicken lays the egg and the egg hatches into yet another chicken. The child is the father of the man who gives birth to yet another child in time. Behaviors of people incessantly impel each other to change for better and occasionally worse too. The transformations need to be appropriate to match the interpersonal requirements in order for the outcome to be apt. Cement ought to be rightly applied, else it solidifies in erroneous positions; behavior can get wrongly reinforced with crooked outcomes.

Music and the mind

“One good thing about music: when it hits you, you feel no pain.” 

Bob Marley

Music offers peace with the world as well as with oneself. It has the power to unshackle from anguish and distress. A tuneful soul gets contained with happiness. Music offers celebration as the dopamine rush in the brain contends serenity and gratification. Harmony in life and staying in tune with thoughts are all metaphorical interpretations of the significance of melody in existence. Pleasurable feelings associated with emotional music are the result of dopamine release in parts of the emotional brain: the same anatomical areas that underprop the pre-emptive and gratifying aspects of drug addiction. There is evidence of synchronous connects in the cardiac (heart) as well as cerebral (brain) functions that are influenced by sound waves of multiple wavelengths. Music affects us in ways we are reasonably unaware of…

Whose side are you on anyways?

every oyster doesn't bear a pearl

There are always choices, decisions, and verdicts offered; along with pronouncements expected of us at every stage in life. There are forever options. And choices have to be made between:

Right               Wrong

Left                 Right

North              South

Black               White

Truth               Lies

Real                 Fake

There is day and then there is night. But there is dawn and noon and dusk and twilight too. The world we know has black and white but it offers the options of gray. Yet preponderance and predilections guide your decisions. Two sides to a coin, two directions, two paths, two poles, two elements, two faces. What matters in life is whose side you take and what choices you make.

Psychiatry? Psychology? Thats crazy!

I’m not crazy! You are!

My child does not pay attention 
He can’t sit at one place for long 
His mind meanders in no time 
Kids these days are just sluggish 
They find excuses to evade study 
Teachers at school just complain 
Parent 1: I don't know what to do about this behavior; I can’t comprehend how to deal with this issue. Every time I meet his teachers they nitpick about how careless he is and how restless he gets at time, it’s so embarrassing for me. Maybe something is wrong with those teachers. 
Parent 2: Well, have you considered taking him to a doctor? 
Parent 1: Why do I need a doctor? He just needs to be spanked and grounded only then he will understand how to behave. 
Parent 2: Your child may have a behavior issue or an adjustment problem; you could consult a psychiatrist and resolve this issue while he is still young. Probably hitting him and punishing him will worsen the situation 
Parent 1: Huh! Why does my son need a psychiatrist? He is not mentally ill. He is not crazy or retarded. He is fine. I know what to do with my son. He's not crazy, you are!

Forgetfulness and Dementia

Memory

Memory is one of the most essential cognitive functions of the brain. Intellect, learning, communication, problem solving; all require an intact memory. For years together, our brain learns and retains new concepts and uses stored information to solve problems. And then one day, after many years, this ability declines and we begin to forget what we once knew. Dementia is a brain disorder in which one cannot remember what was learnt in the past and also, one is unable to retain new information. It is well understood as a deterioration of the memory, intellect, as well as personality; and manifests as a complete transformation of behavior, demeanor and thinking.

Anorexia and Eating Disorders

Women and size 

Thousands of women and an astonishing number of men too, look at the mirror everyday, and dislike what they see. Thinness has become a trend and women consider size zero as the cut off for being anything close to average. Media hype has contributed significantly to propagating thinness. Some professions like modeling or acting demand it; but when the obsession begins to take drastic proportions, it may become life threatening and corrective measures are essential for survival. These then point to eating disorders that are not a ‘fad’ anymore.

Who's obsessed?

Worry and apprehension are normal. At some point in time while we have been on vacation, each one of us has felt a surging anxiety about whether we turned the water tap off or disconnected the gas or locked the door appropriately. Praying or performing ritualistic offerings to ease off worry before a presentation or examination or important life event is a norm in several cultures. Getting negative thoughts amidst positive life events is also a typical reaction because one needs to be prepared for the worst in every situation. Keeping track of adverse outcomes midst confident efforts is the way to go. That's called positive pessimism and it works in all situations. However excessive and unwanted worry that does not lead to betterment in performance, rather acts as an obstruction to it, warrants attention. 

Get charged to take charge!

Sometimes it becomes hard in grouchy situations to really figure who was whining, the child or the parent. And then both sides feel they don't know who started it. It happens in adult-adult interactions too. You know it but sometimes you fail to see it. You lose control of yourself when you are not in charge. Alternatively you are never in charge when you are out of control. So its essential to charge yourself with the right plugins to keep you energized!

Strike! (Not your child; the balance)

Disciplining is all about your knack at striking that balance between autocracy and permissiveness with your child. Children need to get the right message so that they learn the right behaviors. Everyone needs to have these limits set for themselves so they find direction towards the goals they need to accomplish. The younger your child, lesser the self-understanding of boundaries, and more defined should be the limits that you set for them. You love your children (everyone usually does) and the virtues you instill in them come with some level of control and authority; levels of which you have to determine as per your own preferences. Boundaries provide security for a child whose exploratory disposition leads her to explore, but her inexperience may lead her astray. You are the guiding light who knows it all and can direct her.

What's your parenting style?

There are many ideas about how to raise children. Sometimes as parents you adopt the ideas that your own parents may have used with you. You get advice from friends. You read books about parenting. You suf the internet. You take classes on parenting. Yet you never have all the answers because your kids raise all new questions everyday and well known theories of parenting fail. You feel that you create new theories each day in dealing with your little ones. However, research repeatedly emphasizes what parenting practices are effective and are likely to lead to positive outcomes for children.

Behavior modification for parents

It’s so normal for parents to consult therapists for their children’s behavior. You don't realize that your children wish that they could get some treatment for you at times. Just as you wish your kids would introspect and appreciate how much trouble you go through for them, likewise they too feel that you ought to look within and ask yourself how you really make your kids feel about your own behavior towards them. You blame them for making you the monster. You need to step back and ask yourself...

When your child is lying to you

Fear: the driver

The main reason people lie (kids and adults included) is because they're afraid that if they tell the truth, something unpleasant will happen. Lying is a defense mechanism. It's an attempt to protect from perceived danger. People who lie tend to be scared in some way.  Your children maybe scared of you. They sense that autocratic authoritativeness and tremble. That must not make you proud. Parents often misconstrue fear for respect. Fear is enforced; respect is instinctive. 

Making your child obey you

The dictum in life is to be reasonable in expectations so that we are not let down. Maxims also state that when you put in your best you are welcome to expect the finest outcome. And then, laws of physics state that every action generates an equal and opposite reaction. Next, mirrors reflect back at us what we truly are, nothing more, naught less. So the key to happiness (backed by evidence base and science) is to sow the best seed so that you get supreme and flawless crop. That crop who ‘wants’ to listen to you. The crop who ‘waits’ for your command because he has the utmost desire to follow you as his role model. The crop that every parent wishes, dreams, prays, pines for. The crop of the obedient child.

Why toddlers are difficult creatures

To cope with toddler behavior is a mammoth task. You tend to lose your head and test your own patience and you frequently turn into a monster that surprises you more than anyone else around! You react unthinkingly, you say things thoughtlessly and sometimes you lash out with your actions foolishly. If you appreciate some basic principles of development you will understand your children and their behavior challenges gracefully. When you know what you are expecting and more so why it’s coming your way, you can deal with the calamity better…