SELFLESS-ness (1)

Forced conformity?
Duty and loyalty are somewhat enforced conformity constructs. Being earnest on obligation is also commendable; it allows people to work sincerely, serve honestly and labor genuinely towards a purpose. However selflessness (also well understood as altruism) is an extension of acts performed without any beneficial purpose; of being there for others without mandate, devoid of personal gain, minus tangible advantage. True selflessness seems rare since there always seems to be some hidden benefit to all actions. Good seems harder to perform than bad (usually). Many have equated goodness to be synonymous with feebleness; since wrong doers seem to be big and arrogant and boisterous while the good are meek. The yin and yang frequently twist about in the circle of life. Most know when they have been selfish (thankfully so), while some have it involuntarily engrained (sadly). Philanthropy is a conscious struggle; some traits that define it may be as under:

less self more others

Softhearted

Empathic

Lucid

Forthcoming

Loving

Effervescent

Sympathetic

Sensitive

When your child is lying to you

Fear: the driver

The main reason people lie (kids and adults included) is because they're afraid that if they tell the truth, something unpleasant will happen. Lying is a defense mechanism. It's an attempt to protect from perceived danger. People who lie tend to be scared in some way.  Your children maybe scared of you. They sense that autocratic authoritativeness and tremble. That must not make you proud. Parents often misconstrue fear for respect. Fear is enforced; respect is instinctive.