To cope with toddler behavior is a
mammoth task. You tend to lose your head and test your own patience and you
frequently turn into a monster that surprises you more than anyone else around!
You react unthinkingly, you say things thoughtlessly and sometimes you lash out
with your actions foolishly. If you appreciate some basic principles of
development you will understand your children and their behavior challenges gracefully.
When you know what you are expecting and more so why it’s coming your way, you
can deal with the calamity better…
Everything that your toddler is can be
viewed differently depending on your perspective. Toddlers are learning to do a
lot of things and all that they do is actually what will make you proud. You
sometimes fail to see it that way. Just like you don’t know why your skin
itches when a mosquito bites you. It’s your body’s way of killing toxins that
may have entered. But you have to bear the itch. And it’s not pleasant. Look at
all these toddler behaviors and think about the emotions they arouse in you…
Desire
to explore
This is the innate yearning kids develop
when they begin to creep, crawl and walk around the house. They can see all
those tantalizing delights around the room (vases, crystal, plants, shoes), and
find ways to get their hands on them. So toddlers toddle— relentlessly. It’s
like a game to reach places: bathrooms, kitchen sinks, dustbins, pet bowls: but
it’s not their fault.
Will
to tool
Babies develop hand skills to manipulate everything.
Doors are always to be opened, knobs to be turned, drawers pulled, dangling
cords yanked, and waste cans emptied. Everything is a fair game to them. To the
nosey explorers, the whole house is an unmapped continent, and they intend to
leave no stone unturned.
Freedom
of speech
Mommy then what happened? Daddy why is
this like this? Why can’t I go? Why do I have to eat? Why do I have to be
strong? Why can I not play? Why do you watch TV and me not? Why do I have to do
homework? Why can you go for the party and not me? Why do I have to wear this
and not that? The questions are endless and it’s brilliant for their reasoning
ability. But it’s a mixed blessing. The squeals, screeches, whine and cries are
all part of the same game. Sometimes their little baby words are pleasing to
your ears, and at other times they are nerve-wracking.
The
growing mind
Toddlers think, but not logically. Their
reasoning seems hilarious at times and frustrating at others. The fact that
they offer explanations in challenge to your requests does get irritating but
the brighter side, they are learning to reason and use their logic. You have to
deal with it sensitively; change their thoughts; do not crush their will to
think.
All
these behaviors are normal
In the course of development the same
behaviors that children need to developmentally advance to the next level are
the very ones that can get them into trouble. As your child goes from
dependence to independence, he will often merit labels like "defiant"
or "bossy," or "impulsive" Some of these are a byproduct of
the child's need to become an independent individual. And the
"stubbornness" that keeps your child from listening to you as you
prevent him from an activity; is the same rigidity that helps him get up after
a fall and try again harder.
Get fine tuned with your child
Get fine tuned with your child
While children are stepping forward into
uncharted territory, finding new friends, trying new things, you are bound to expect
discipline problems due to the anxiety that always accompanies with
experimenting. In each stage, expect the calm to come for sure, but after the
storm. On a day your child will crave for independence and choose to wear the
strangest color combination in clothes, while on another he will snuggle up to
you in bed because he’s afraid of the thundering. You will see phases of
dependence and autonomy, connect and disconnect; and you will have to be
prepared for them.
The
angel devil disguise
The same child who seemed like a devil
may act like an angel the next time. On occasion you are the devil and she the
angel and vice versa. When parent and child are out of harmony, discipline
problems multiply. If your child is trying to break away when you are trying to
bond, you are likely to overreact to what may be independence. If you are too
busy while your child wishes to connect, you miss a window of opportunity to
strengthen your positions as her comforter, adviser, as well as their
disciplinarian.
Prophesy
Learn to predict your child’s behavior.
If you have an argument before leaving for a party, the conduct is going to be
bad at the party. Discipline problems are likely to occur when there are
transitions.
- family changes
- house move
- new sibling
- family illness
- new school
- your new job
What
is "normal" does not have to be acceptable to you
Your child may be boisterous by
temperament and he may need to scramble things to build his finger skills and
she may want to mess the dinner on the table to have some fun. Yet, he or she
may be expected to play quietly for a few days because mommy is recovering from
an illness and has a headache. It is healthy for the child to learn that the
sun rises and sets on other people besides himself. Children need to learn to
adapt to house rules to prepare them to adjust to society's rules. This calls
for some appropriate parenting discipline that must be followed calmly and
patiently, not with ANGER or frustrations. After all, your kids only live that
childhood once; it better be beautiful and worthwhile!
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