Parenting anger step 3:Take charge

that's not pretty!

Once you see things in perspective and you have been the good detective, you are in better position to take charge of the situation. Your reactions and responses have to be smart and guarded. You cannot lose control, not even for a moment else the ‘Operation Child Modification’ that we had started with, will fail and your satellite will be back on the ground right where you started off.

Watch your wrong moves

Nobody is impeccable, or all strong, or never faltering. We all make mistakes. It’s just important to remain perceptive of them. In 10 situations out of 10 that we screamed at our kids, we wished we hadn’t. We never meant to. There may have been times your child was not at fault and still got spanked. A good deal of displacement occurs and the innocent one becomes the punching object. It happens to everyone. But universality is not a defense for insanity.

High-risk settings

You need to look within and ask yourself if there are any particular life situations that are making you unnecessarily angry with your child, by simply contributing to a reduction in your threshold leading to more severe outbursts.

Do you have problems with your spouse that are troubling?

Are you under too much pressure regarding your workplace?

Is another child on the way and you are worried about it?

Are you having some health problems that are worrying you?

Are there issues with the family structure and the situation?

Watch out for the danger

If so, you are at risk for venting your anger on your child. Losing a job or experiencing a similar self-esteem-breaking event can make you defensibly angry. But realize that this makes it easier for otherwise tolerable childish behaviors to push you over the edge. When you're already angry, every small thing that your child does easily seems to become a big problem. You need to deal with it responsibly and not scar your child with unwarranted anger.

Get your child on your side

If you perceive impending circumstances beyond your control and they seem like they will persist for a while, prepare your child. The worst behaved child also gets concerned when he sees his mother looking sad.

send the right message across: it always helps

Give up that ego

If you do blow your top and have that outburst, it's wise to apologize to your child (and expect similar apologies from them when they lose their tempers too): "I’m sorry, but I'm angry, and if I don't seem like I am there for you, it's because I'm struggling to make you a better child. It's not your fault. I'm not angry at you sweetheart. I just am upset with your behavior. I have always loved you and I always will."

Honesty pays

It also helps to be honest with yourself, recognize your vulnerability and keep your guard up until the anger-causing problem is resolved. There will always be problems in your life that you cannot control. As you become a better-experienced parent—and bigger person—you will come to realize that the only thing in your life that you can control are your own actions. How you handle anger can work for you or against you—and your child, who should (and hopefully surely does) mean the world to you.