How expressive is your child?

An expressive child and a responsive parent is a prize-winning combination for toddlerhood. It’s a win-win situation and it enables the parent to shape behavior positively right at the outset. This sequence becomes quite easy to understand as below:

• The newborn expresses needs to his mother
• The responsiveness of the mothers builds trust
• The now infant learns to express needs appropriately
• Infants grow to become bigger toddlers with bigger needs
• These toddlers know the meaning of feelings and how to express
• The toddlers then get better equipped to express themselves to others

Parents also have feelings!

Yes they do and we appreciate that too. There are times that things seem to be getting out of control and you cannot manage that tantrum. Your child tests your own limits. You have absolutely no idea what brought on the outburst and you wish you knew what you could do to end the screeching and squawking. You have had a hard day too and you have reason to expect some sanity from your little ones, but what about your child? How was her day? How did she feel?

Understand your child’s feelings

You need to get adept at reading your child’s eyes to know what she wants. When you’re not sure of what she is "saying," get a clue from her eyes, her body language, her moves. She chooses to push the glass of milk away and it spills, yes that can be very annoying. You don't know that her best friend rebuked her at school and she was feeling horrible about it. She was dejected and let down. She expressed anger (displaced towards you) but deep down she was extremely sad and needed a hug more than a glass of milk from an imposing parent.

They don't have to talk for you to know

Children know exactly what they are feeling and telling you, you are occasionally the one not receiving the message. She was upset when she returned form school but you didn't notice it because you were too tired after work too. Her eyes speak more articulately than her tongue ever can express. You need to be there for your child. You need to invest in her right now because right now is the best and most important time. Even if you didn't do it all along, its never too late.

Be your child magnet

Your children have BIG needs and limited ways to express them to you. Help them express because that’s the only way they will learn the importance and effectiveness of emotions.

• Always place children before yourself
• Appreciate their emotions all the time
• Comprehend their needs passionately
• Always offer them comfort and support
• Look into their eyes when you converse
• Love absolutely even if they misbehave
• Respect your kids and their demands
• See their positives more than faults
• Praise them often for things they do
• Be happy, undisturbed and contented
• Express your own viewpoint openly
• Connect with your child genuinely

Your children are not your age. They are not mature enough to understand why your needs are more important than theirs at the moment when they need you, but hearing you talk to them and appreciate their perspective will help them feel that you really care. After all you do care right?