Criticism: Offer it constructively (1)

Perspectives

The 14th century identified criticism purely in the literary perspective; offering appraisal of art and literature. The 20th century saw it approaching pros and cons and identified it as scientific activity. Currently the 21st century is evidence to criticism being a loosely adopted method to have objection, express dissent and reject something outright with minimal compassion. Used meaningfully, criticism is an effective stimulus to generate personal growth and mitigate improvement in performance. Nonetheless a tool is not effective unless used suitably.  The content, intent and recipient ought to be fitting to make the impact. Criticism is effective if it matches these ground rules:

there are bitter truths that need to be spoken
they can however be spoken sweetly
rudeness is not mandatory
kindness is

Concise

Respectful

Insightful

Truthful

Introspective

Clear

Important

Sincere

Meaningful

I need to be perfect

Perfectionism

Meticulousness is no sin; it is a rather coveted trait. The definition and boundaries of perfectionism however are often bleak; what appears enough to one seems way too inadequate to another. Verdicts given by the world indeed count; but what matters most is what we think of ourselves and where we place our self-regard centered on our personal appraisals of us. The ladder of individual growth typically directs upwards, life is about evolution and success concerns bettering ourselves with each passing day. Nonetheless, accepting the self with potencies and inadequacies is the selection of the wise...

Does your kid talk; or talk back?

Conversations can be such a pleasure if there is agreeableness and respect for what the other person is saying to you. The art of positive conversations is like mirroring. What you throw onward comes back at you with comparable tone and intensity. If you wear black, the mirror doesn't make it white for you. Likewise with children, they talk to you exactly the way you talk to them! They were not born with speech intonation abilities at birth. Everything they ever do is learnt from you. You have to accept all credit (as well as discredit) for who they are and how they behave…

Do kids really get depressed?

you should know best how your kids really feel

Childhood is a carefree, happy and blissful time. Infanthood as if was crafted only to be enjoyed by children (as well as their parents). But it’s not uncommon for our little ones to feel the pressures and strains of today’s life. They too can feel deep sadness and dejection inside their innocent hearts and innocuous minds. They really know how to feel pain. They sense deeper loneliness and neglect than we are capable of even imagining. Our kids ‘know’ depression because they know how to feel. More than ever before. With rising IQs kids today have greater emotional receptivity at early ages. They know how to feel ecstatic and likewise they know how to feel in the dumps too...

Parenting anger step 3:Take charge

that's not pretty!

Once you see things in perspective and you have been the good detective, you are in better position to take charge of the situation. Your reactions and responses have to be smart and guarded. You cannot lose control, not even for a moment else the ‘Operation Child Modification’ that we had started with, will fail and your satellite will be back on the ground right where you started off.

Parenting anger step 1:Perspective

Parenting is one of the best things that can happen to you. It may seem trying and tiring but in many ways it can be therapeutic too! Your anger that is expressed outward is a reflection of what you have imbibed over the years within yourself. It can reveal where your own problems lie and motivate you to fix them. If you have some unresolved anger, you must heal yourself before you end up harming your child. This will benefit you as well as your child in the long run. Feeling angry is almost a normal emotion. What's abnormal at times is what we choose to do with the anger.

Have you been up there?

Just high enough to get that perfect view from the window seat when you fly on that aircraft? When the buildings were taller than you, and then they gradually seem smaller, and the within fractions of minutes they look tiny; almost unreal, like those models you’ve seen made by architects? They actually seem to be made of styrofoam and cardboard, trees made of colored sponge stuck on sticks. The whole town looks like a miniature project we often made in our schools when we were young. And then suddenly as we cruise to greater heights, it all becomes a haze. And you don't see it anymore…

the world seems so different from above... doesn't it?

Have you lost it? Or do you still have it?

Well there’s so much that we are attached to in this world, and we feel we possess, so this question can have a pretty speckled answer. There are numerous things we feel we should retain to ease our existence. Things that seem fundamental to us. Things that are indispensable for us. And then, in reality, some of these things include those we are not even be aware of. We fail to realize that we are chasing objects that are not essential for subsistence; while we have lost the pearls that are imperative for happiness and contentment. Common nouns and proper nouns have taken precedence over abstract nouns...

How do you do? (in your relationship)

My partner is the best!

Now is that something you find yourself thinking aloud when you see him or her after a long hard day at work? Is that roughly what is running through your mind and felt straight from the heart when someone talks about your partner? Do you feel this emotion every once in a while? Or then, when you hear these words spoken by someone else what really runs through your mind? That’s pretty unrealistic, or this one seems to be really lucky, or maybe he is just saying it; he doesn't really seem that happy and satisfied with his love life…