Criticism: Offer it constructively (1)

Perspectives

The 14th century identified criticism purely in the literary perspective; offering appraisal of art and literature. The 20th century saw it approaching pros and cons and identified it as scientific activity. Currently the 21st century is evidence to criticism being a loosely adopted method to have objection, express dissent and reject something outright with minimal compassion. Used meaningfully, criticism is an effective stimulus to generate personal growth and mitigate improvement in performance. Nonetheless a tool is not effective unless used suitably.  The content, intent and recipient ought to be fitting to make the impact. Criticism is effective if it matches these ground rules:

there are bitter truths that need to be spoken
they can however be spoken sweetly
rudeness is not mandatory
kindness is

Concise

Respectful

Insightful

Truthful

Introspective

Clear

Important

Sincere

Meaningful

Concise

There’s no point in proving a point if at the finale you don't end up making your point! Criticism ought to be crisp and impactful. If it’s too long an explanation, people lose focus and fail to comprehend what they are being grilled for. The outcomes then are seldom positive because people don't know what went wrong, hence they cannot set it right.

• The way you spilled your food on the table was unacceptable
• That presentation for the new venture needs improvement
• The design is good but seems to be overpowering the decor

Issues get solved best when they aren’t muddled. Success is when the arrow hits the target; the remainder is senseless jargon. When formulated rightly, criticism is presented effectively and then accepted gracefully. The content is often valid; the process of delivering it needs to be spot on to get the desired impact.

Respectful

The rule of thumb in criticizing (partners, spouse, children, employees, friends) anybody is ‘respecting the individual’. More often than not criticism is thrown on character instead of the behavior. If people are attacked for who they are instead of what they do, the desired change their demeanor will never occur.

• You’re a brilliant child, you just need to improve your grades
• You are diligent, you just need to enhance presentation skills
• You look great, you just need to lose those 3 pounds on the belly

If people are attached on their character, they think they can’t change and see no option but to fight back and vindicate themselves. In effect, unacceptable behavior that was actually moldable stays put while bitterness worsens the social relationship. It's a lose-lose situation when there is no respect.

Insightful

People are frequently unaware of their shortcomings (its true for all of us really.) Each one (hopefully) aspires to get better at what they do; self-development is indeed an ambition for many. Everyone wants to grow in his or her profession, get known in the industry, be successful, gain accolades for their effort, and be a better son/ daughter/ child/ spouse or human being.

• You could really get better at math and sit for the scholarship exam
• You could better you negotiation skills; it may help your promotion
• If you shared your emotions better, it would be great for our marriage

If offered the right direction, few will reject it. Criticism ought to bring forth insight into that lack; there’s no better motivation to learning than experiential self-realization. The cognitive and emotional awareness that criticism generates must be subtle and perceptive.

Truthful

Criticism and argument are effective interactive behavior tools. Argument allows for expression of viewpoints while criticism offers defined solutions for betterment (if it is relevant and to the point that is). Both however ought to be expressed with genuineness and honesty.

• I really feel you can do better at your studies; you have the ability
• If you exercise and shed those few pounds you will look stunning
• I know you can do better, I have known you so I am sure of this

Arguing and criticizing for the heck of it usually infuriates others. People perceive using their personal preconceived defenses. If they have been frequently revoked, they may begin to sense criticism as an attack. And they feel hurt. It’s imperative to show empathy and genuineness in any interpersonal interaction; and is truer when you are offering a negative feedback.