Do kids really get depressed?

Childhood

Childhood is a carefree, happy and blissful time. Infanthood as if was crafted only to be enjoyed by children (as well as their parents). But it’s not uncommon for our little ones to feel the pressures and strains of today’s life. They too can feel deep sadness and dejection inside their innocent hearts and innocuous minds. Children truly know how to feel pain. They sense deeper loneliness and neglect more than we are capable of even imagining. Our kids ‘know’ depression. And they can experience it…

Why will kids ever be sad?

Pretty much for the same reasons adults feel sad. They're human too (we sometimes forget that!) They’re not toys or machines that we so ritualistically like to control and expect exact predetermined expressions from them in different situations. You cook their favorite dish and they don't want to eat. You plan their favorite movie and somehow they’re not excited about it. Reality check! They are not robots! Now think:

• Did you feel gloomy when you lost someone you loved?
• Have you felt hurt when your boss put you down at work?
• Did you feel dismayed when your job interview went really bad?
• Did you ever feel upset when your best friend ceased to trust you?
• Were you distraught when you had an argument with your loved spouse?

So how and why are these situations ANY different from the one’s children face? Think about all these situations that you have experienced and now live them with the exactness of the emotion that your child perceived…

• Did your child seem gloomy when she lost her favorite doll?
• Did she seem dismayed when she was rejected for elocution?
• Did he seem hurt when you scolded him in front of everyone?
• Did he look upset when his best friend found another best friend?
• Was she distraught when she had a fight with her play pal that day?

That’s how and why kids get sad. They’re AS human as you are.

But kids get over it no?

Yes the same way you get over it. You choose to neglect what you feel. You believe you are strong and you shouldn't show your weakness. You feel you should keep it within yourself because people will put you down for feeling low. People will think you are a sissy. People with mock you. And you will lose your respect for being so cowardly. Right? And what happens after that? Do you feel strong again? No, you feel more alone. You get pushed from momentary sadness to pathological depression. At this point just thinking positive doesn't help. Now it’s beyond your control. So how are kids expected to get over it?

The brain in depression

The chemicals and neurotransmitters in a child’s brain are taking shape and formulating baseline levels in childhood. These form the base of one’s reactivity to situations in the future. Depression in childhood predisposes the little ones to react pessimistically and negatively to events as she grows up. It is preparing your child for depression and negative outlook for the future. That would be horrible. It needs to be corrected at once. You cannot let that happen to your child who is the world to you.

Depression physical checklist

• Change in the sleep pattern (more or less)
• Refusal to eat food (even favorite foods)
• Unexplained tiredness and exhaustion
• Seeming lethargic and lazy all the time

Depression behavior checklist

• Refusing to meet friends and family
• Not seeming to enjoy even at parties
• Episodes of crying quite frequently
• Behaving as if detached from others

Depression school checklist

• Declining performance in the school
• Dropping level of grades in the exams
• Not paying attention in the classroom
• School refusal without explanation

Therapy as a parent

Children easily develop the idea that it's not really OK to feel depressed. They start to hide their feelings rather than deal with them in a healthy way. Reassure your child that sadness is not something to be ashamed of. Give your child the right to have these feelings, respect their emotions and allow them to express in a healthy manner.

Motivate them to reach out

Teach your child its okay to ask for help when they need it. Give them a list of people they may talk to such as you, a teacher, a relative or a counselor. Don't put down their feelings. It may seem small, but what matters is how they feel about it. Be aware of impacts that your own responses to life are having on your child. Your child learns coping skills by watching you so you need to be positive too for their strength. Keep a watch for excessive sadness, irritability, loss of pleasure, change of appetite or sleep, tiredness, feeling worthless or ever mention of not wanting to exist.

Slow and steady

Treatment is promising but it takes time and commitment from parents, child, family members and the therapist. If it is not treated appropriately, depression can have very drastic consequences. Help is always available. You should always be willing to accept it and make a difference in the life of your child. Stand by them and stand strong.  They will observe you and gain that strength. After all, parents are ‘HEROES’, the best pillars of strength for their children.