How change occurs
Childhood is the phase of instillation of value systems.
From a scientific as well as research perspective, behavioral change never occurs
overnight. Revolution takes place over time. To get a good plant we need to sow
the right seeds and offer them the appropriate nourishment throughout the
growth phase. Weeds don’t become nutritious edibles overnight; thus solutions to
social problems like crime against women can never be immediate.
The rapid surge of crime against women in the recent past
reflects defects in general value systems in the minds of people who fail to
see the 'injustice' of their acts. Good moral systems promote socially apt
behavior. The corollary thus holds true; an absence of ethical values allows
antisocial conduct to thrive and flourish. With this in mind, it only means
that parents have a great role to play today, so as to engender children who
grow to be morally responsible and respectful adults who regard one
another and are sensitive to the honor of women in society.
Role played by culture
India has fallen short of respect for women since
time immemorial. Women have often been outcaste and their respect and
regard has not been prized enough. Parents in the urban parts of the country
today don’t discriminate between their children based on gender anymore;
however in the semi urban and rural areas of India, this discrimination is
still rampant. Little boys and girls are brought up in an environment where
women are disrespected and denigrated. When they grow up with this value,
it is all they are aware of; it then becomes the law of the land: that women were
created to be dominated; and that the male power over them always prevails.
How parents can help
Parents are the ones who sow the seeds of interpersonal
regard in children as they are growing up. The importance of morality, knowing
and appreciating the difference between ‘good’ and ‘bad’, ‘right’ and ‘wrong’,
‘appropriate’ and ‘inappropriate’; all need to be inculcated by parents in
their children. The parents in the home as well as teachers at school can
partake in this responsibility.
Parents and their boys
The male hormone testosterone has typically been associated
with boisterousness, aggression and riotousness. Parents frequently encourage
aggression in their sons as it reflects the ‘manliness’ of a man. Rightfully
so, if this manliness is used for safeguarding the honor of women, it is
worthy. However, the same used to take that away is a crime. Parents need to
educate their sons on the ‘honor’ of women and that everyone ought to respect one
another, and always be just, be right and not inflict physical or emotional pain
on anyone. With this basic instillation of virtues and values, children will
learn to be polite, kind and respectful of others. They will then never stoop
to the level of committing gruesome crimes against women as we are seeing
today.
Parents and their girls
Parents need to firstly look upon their own girls with esteem.
Even today in some traditional urban (and many rural) households, there is
subtle discrimination against the female child. Parents need to respect their
daughters and build on their self-worth. Girls need to know that they can stand
for themselves and that the world will stand for their defense too. Offering
some self-defense training to girls from an early age should be mandatory. They
also need to be told that as they grow, if there is any kind of inappropriate,
wrong and indecent behavior towards them from any male (family member,
neighbor, friend or stranger) they need to report it to their parents at once
and not feel shy or threatened. Empowering the girls from that stage will
generate empowered women who will be able to stand strong and defend themselves
emotionally as well as physically when threatened by indecent men.
Small steps make way for big leaps
The path to improvement is long and tortuous. Changing the
behavior of people is not easy and never will be. However each one of us can initiate
the revolution by making a change in the sons and daughters we nurture within
our homes. These will become the adults of tomorrow who will stand for what
they believe in, provided we have made them believe in the right thing…
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