The knack
Listening is one of the most used but least taught skills.
Practice does make man perfect; rehearsal and training are a mandate for any
talent acquisition. Contrary to popular belief, listening is an active
phenomenon while hearing can be passive, inert and uninvolved. Hearing is
involuntary, reflex and a function of the ear and the auditory area of the
brain. Listening on the other hand requires conscious effort and cognitive
processes to relocate the listened material into the short-term memory store
and subsequently into the long-term memory stockpile. Learning to listen
amounts to be a gainful, wise and deliberate aptitude accrual.
The human brain can think approximately 1200 thoughts per
minute and articulate 300 words per minute. At an average, the 300 words that
are heard in a given minute form a quarter of the volume of thoughts that
already exist in the mind at that time. The difference in these 2 assimilation
abilities generates a listening gap, which allows the mind to drift away from
the topic at hand. Greater the gap, farther away goes the focus from what was
being heard. When one attempts to lay emphasis on listening, the alternate
thoughts digress. Perfect harmony would entail the listener thinking nothing
besides the 300 words enunciated by the speaker. Enhancing ones desire to assimilate
what is being spoken can reduce the listening gap.
Interest vs. boredom
When you like how the food looks, you feel like eating it.
Likewise topics that grab the listener’s interest always get enhanced focus
while others get neglected. The onus lies on the hearer to build interest.
Often a lack of awareness amounts to lack of curiosity. By knowing just a
little bit, one can raise ones’ own inquisitiveness and enhance the will to
learn more by active listening. Things don't become interesting by themselves;
we toil to make them so.
Structure vs. chaos
Sorting a ball of twisted and entangled yarn is exasperating.
The world appreciates systematized and well-coordinated inputs (everywhere in
every walk of life). While in conversation the onus of offering organized
information lies on the speaker, it’s nevertheless the listener’s
responsibility to try and consolidate it into specific cognitive categories.
These are maintained in the immediate memory stores of the brain and can be
retrieved with minimal browsing. The mind has its own search box, however
information needs to be indexed well in order to retrieve it for timely use.
Adding structure is a challenge but a knack gifted to the good listener.
Power of attitude
A positive and forthcoming attitude to listen to others is
bliss for oneself as well as the world we interact with. The will to listen is
a worthy trait. Some professions demand it; others can simply desire it without
warranties of fulfillment, whereas at a personal level, everyone we know is hoping
that someone will listen to them. At the grass root level, with the quantum of
edginess in today’s world, with the need for quick fixes with shallowness in
expression and receptivity of emotions disallows one from being a good
listener. A positive attitude to what is being spoken breaks prejudices and
enhances the will to listen.
Listen to what is not said
Non-verbal communication is an essential component in
building interpersonal connections. If people claim self-confidence and are jittery
sweating and twiddling their hands while doing so, they don't mean what they’re
saying. The tone and pitch accentuate the intensity of the content. Besides,
the whole is quite different from a mere sum of its parts. Link the pieces
together to make meaning of the content. Effective listening comprises utility
of all available sensory modalities to achieve the most gainful outcome of the
communication opportunity.
Break the boredom
Sometimes you can’t help but drift away from the
conversation (or the ongoing topic in a lecture or group discussion). If the
speaker cannot, you must break the dreariness. Any change from your active
state is welcome. It offers a diversion from the wearisome continuity of an
unexciting conversation. You need to do what it takes to make it less boring
and stimulate yourself to keep going.
- Make some notes
- Use colored pens
- Change position
- Pose a question
- Have some water
Listening is more important than we realize. It is the key
to effective and eventful information exchange. While 70% of an average human
being’s time is spent on communicating with someone or the other, listening
forms 45% of this chunk. Listening deserves its true share of prominence. So
sit back and be all ears: imbibe more, express less; absorb more, lecture less;
and listen more, speak less.
If we were to talk more than we had to listen, we would have
2 tongues and 1 ear!
- Mark Twain
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