Apr 4, 2013

Criticism: Take it constructively


don't criticize me!
Criticism involves judgments on merits as well as faults. It may or may not be welcome, but taken in the right vein it can be a tool to motivate self improvement and growth. Criticism is of great value when it comes from reliable sources and is well presented. Nonetheless viewpoints and prejudices of narrow-minded and self-prophesizing individuals may amount to destructive criticism and can impact others negatively. How the world presents things to us isn’t in our control but what we choose to do with it truly is.
Judge your self worth by yourself
Negative bias in self-assessment is the root for despair. Self-regard is the backbone of survival. It is what preserves the self from extermination; else many would deem this life truly not worth the pain and suffering it occasionally forces one to endure.  A downward spiral of gloom is created when you perceive yourself as unworthy. There are good times as well as bad ones for everyone. Failure is not permanent, neither is there a lifetime warranty for success. It is wise to accept strength and weakness, success and failure, praise and criticism; and put the best foot forward at all times.
Appraise and reappraise
No one looks as good in reality as they do on their Facebook profile picture! Reality is what it is; it cannot be masked and doesn't require unveiling either. It is what makes it tangible. No one is as undeserving or as brilliant as they consider themselves to be. Verdict on one’s worth can never be absolute. It changes often, so do the world’s view on ones performance. One requires constant appraisal and reappraisal of self worth to truly know where they stand on the path to self-growth.
Do people matter?
Personal judgments are defined by subjectivity yes, but they are strongly influenced by external factors. Man being a social animal, needs to be cognizant of societal demands and expectations. Nonetheless, self-preservation is one fundamental defense that we all need to put up time and again to safeguard our interests and prevent our own downfall. Appraise your value sensibly so that you reach a viable and correct figure on your balance sheet. A faulty appraisal will disallow the figures from tallying and you may misjudge your own worth and debase yourself for no justifiable reason.
Pinch of salt
Negative events, moments of ridicule and embarrassment can get internalized and one begins to expect them to happen repetitively. The fear of their recurrence instigates a self-fulfilling prophecy. This lowers one’s self esteem, allows one to ‘expect’ to be ridiculed and invariably the embarrassment recurs. Thus criticism engenders vulnerability by conditioning, although it was never intended as protocol. If only we could take that criticism with a pinch of salt and know that it was meant to guide us to improve ourselves, not beat ourselves down so gravely that we cant run the race anymore.
It cant be that bad… 
It’s never hard, tiring, difficult, challenging or painful ONLY for you. It’s sadly true that 95% of people think that it’s easy for the remaining 95% around them. And almost 100% of them pass judgments on others without realizing their own flaws. If all that everyone else stated and believed were all true, math would need some new discovery in computation to prove the logic. However, thankfully, the lack of reason convinces that the figures are not true. You are probably in a better position than most around you. There is no comparative and superlative if there is no positive! You cannot think of getting better unless you believe that you are any good. So be good and make it better for yourself and the world around you.
It’s not about them; it’s all about you

No can make you feel better or worse about yourself without your consent. You have to hold those reins in your hands. You need to encourage yourself. How good you look, how rich you are, how satisfied you feel and the serenity you sense; is your own percept. If you spend some time introspecting on your own existence, you will get the records right for yourself and the final figure will be positive. Start calculating now! The golden rule of criticism emphasizes: the act or behavior or outfit or speech or presentation was unsatisfactory, not the human being. When you take it personally it affects your persona, when you perceive it objectively it acts as a stimulus for self-growth.

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