Yes our children do get anxious. They have their own set of
worries, apprehensions and fears in life. Adults feel that they have the
worldly burden on their shoulders while childhood is carefree and joyous. It’s
not always so. Childhood ‘ought’ to be happy-go-lucky and relaxed. And that is
what we have to strive for in our kids. Anxiety has been better researched
unlike other childhood problems such as autism, and ADHD. Children worry about
the smallest issues and take great levels of stress. Possibly the demands that
parents place on their kids overwhelms them. At other times children sense the
stress in the household. They know when there is friction between parents or in
laws or grandparents. They are more receptive and emotive than we ever realize.
They have self-standards too besides the ones you set for them. All these can
get quite overpowering and your little child cannot cope with it.
Anxiety is a lot worse in the younger age group because they
don't know how to actually express themselves. Sometimes children take cues from
their environment and learn from erroneous sources that voicing feelings and
confessing to fears is a sign of weakness. They may see their parents anxious
and don't want to add to the troubles. This is a self-defeating and negative
consequence of anxiety, which then becomes pathological. In the early years as
the brain is developing and neurotransmitters are taking shape to determine the
child’s emotionality; such damage can be devastating.
Is some amount of anxiety good?
Nervousness is a normal emotion. In adults as well as
children, some amount of fear maintains vigilance and allows for putting in
one’s best efforts. If children were to be lax about life they would not be
able to make it to the bus stop on time, do their homework diligently, or
prepare for their exams well enough. We ourselves try to instill
competitiveness in children. We want them to excel and try to make them more
meticulous. These are with good intentions. But the message that gets across to
the child may be distorted. They believe that short of the best is not good
enough. They get disillusioned by the seed of competition that we sow in their
innocent minds. They now invest emotion in fearing failure more than seeking
perfection for succeeding.
What are the symptoms of childhood anxiety?
Some children with anxiety primarily show physical symptoms
and these are often misinterpreted. They lead you to pediatric clinics and cue
you to unnecessary tests and medication for treating physical conditions in
your child that have psychological origins. It is important to be aware of the
possible expression of anxiety symptoms so you can pick them well in time, and
give children the care they truly deserve. Kids with anxiety are often
inattentive in class, school refusal is common and they have impaired social
relatedness owing to inability to relate with other children. Thus anxiety may
present as low academic grades, lack of friendships, loneliness and on occasion
even aggression owing to emotional illiteracy and incapacity in expressing.
Anxiety physical checklist
- Unexplained headache/ body ache
- Frequent stomach upset/ diarrhea
- Vomiting even though no infection
- Refusal to eat food (even favorite)
- Inability to sleep alone at night
- Staying up late & not getting sleep
- Trembling of hands and sweating
- Looking scared while going out alone
- Saying bad things are going to happen
- Biting nails, chewing pens or pencils
- Praying to God more often than before
- Complaining of bad and scary dreams
- Occasionally sleep talking in the night
- Getting tearful and startled very easily
- Refusal, crying while going to school
- Getting stomachache every morning
- Refusing bus wanting to be dropped
- Asking for parents to be around school
- Careless mistakes more so in maths
- Not talking to other children in class
- Seeming dazed and inattentive in class
Treating anxiety is a partnership between the parents, and
the child.
Be calm: it is treatable condition and your child can become
100% all right
Medication (as per doctor’s advice) and behavior therapy
program help
Behavior charts can be involved in the therapy procedure
with children
A record of your child’s behavior and give all feedback to
the therapist
Therapy as a parent
Children easily develop the idea that it's not really OK to
feel anxious. They start to hide their feelings rather than deal with them in a
healthy way. Reassure your child that fear is not something to be ashamed of.
Give your child the right to have these feelings, respect their emotions and
allow them to express these in a healthy manner.
Progress
If it is not treated appropriately, anxiety can have very
drastic consequences on the child’s global development. Help is always
available. You should always be willing to accept it and make a difference in
the life of your child. Stand by them and stand strong. They will observe you and gain that strength.
After all, parents are ‘HEROES’, the best pillars of strength for their
children.
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