That positive thought: 1

Negative is included in the pretext of positive; else the impact of positive wouldn't seem affirmative enough. We were not born with negative beliefs or irrational expectations or cognitive distortions. In fact no one knowledgeably taught us any of those either. Somewhere along the way we lose perspective and start believing in the irrational. We either become unrealistically optimistic and we are let down (only to lose faith completely and get distrustful forever); or we simply never experience happy moments enough to believe that there is a sunnier side to things. Life originally is positive; the world fundamentally stifling. Thus negatives get added and seem to become elemental. These need to be unlearned and replaced with positive thoughts which comprise:

Preparedness

Open-mindedness

Self-examination

Innovation

Transparency

Interest

Vigilance

Expressiveness

That negative thought: 1

Thoughts impact the way one feels: this is the fundamental supposition of human behavior. One needn't agonize about harmful thoughts if they didn't impact how one felt; and subsequently behaved in response to the downbeat emotion it generated. A spider crawling up your back does annoy; the natural emotion would be to have it off you. If that’s not a possibility; it would take remarkable tolerance to allow it to be there and be impassive about it. The best and most desirable option is of course to get rid of it. Needless to say, ridding the back of a spider is easier than expelling the unwanted thought from the psyche. The thought you don’t want, the one that irks, exasperates, and often devastates. The negative thought is composed of:

Nihilism

Emotional reasoning

Generalization

All or none thinking

Twisting (reality)

Idealization

Vindication

Expectation

Characterological DepressionShefali Batra

When negativity and pessimism get deeply ingrained in one’s persona, there is a transformation in the outlook towards life. It seems like life was never worthy, things never happened right and relationships never worked. When there are no persevering memories of happiness or contentment, the mind cannot retain images of sanguinity. When asked to recall happy and positive moments, one usually denies their existence. There is thus no baseline to get back to.

Challenge…yourself

Arguments come easy to humankind. And it seems that man enjoys it (women too). It’s common to dispute the opinions of others (that is bound to happen when one has to stand for oneself and safeguard self worth). But apart from arguing with others, there’s a good deal of quarrel put forth by the alter ego within one’s own self in all doings. The difference exists for sure because the self will lose (so what if it’s against ones own self) and no one likes losing. Consequentially, the commonality is that the alter ego stays dormant and the argument fails to occur at all.

Quantifying irrationality

Life isn’t perfect. Things don't go the way they were ‘supposed’ to or ‘destined’ to or the way you ‘expected’ or ‘wanted’ them to. Not even the way they ‘should’ have been. Life is full of expectations and desires and wants that occasionally stay unfulfilled and unconsummated. And truly, it’s not unjust to want to relish the pleasures this world has to offer us. After all we work so hard for them. Everyone works and toils for peace and joy. Asceticism or self-denial is not the route to nirvana. But rationality is a must. Living within rational limits of expectations allows one to have them fulfilled more frequently. And that fetches contentment without doubt.