Transactional Analysis Therapy

Transactions in life

According to Eric Berne, life is a series of interactions between all human beings. These interactions include some exchange of thought, emotion, ideas, energies, anything at all. But there is always an exchange in the interaction. These are better understood as transactions. Everything you do with someone is a transaction. And at the end of it we land ourselves in spots that are called ‘life positions’. These are:

• I am OK you are OK 
• I am OK you are not OK 
• I am not OK you are OK 
• I am not OK you are not OK 

These are in a specific order because this is the sequence of desirable ascent. We try our best to be happy and keep everyone else contented too. Sometimes we end up hurting others (partners, parents, employees, or friends); at other times we are miffed by them; and yet others we see discontent within ourselves and everyone around. That is the worst position to be in.

Reinforcer 3: Negative Reward

Some connects get stronger simply on account of the time that they have lasted. Habits are simply thoughts and behaviors that have persisted over time. Plasticity is a trait that is indeed innate to the brain cells; each one can change his or her behavior as and when they choose to. However more often than not, the mind gets accustomed to the inertia that sets in after incessant stagnation in thought and feeling. Reward and punishment enhance and diminish certain performances respectively; however the mind works analytically to alter behavior using alternate reinforces like negative reward too…

How dependent are you?

Humans are needy from the moment they’re born. Among the entire animal kingdom, Homo sapiens babies are the most dependent; for food, care, nurturance and comfort. With age, they do ripen their ability to shoulder personal responsibilities and deal with challenges that life offers along its path. Sometimes their progenitors over indulge and inculcate disproportionate dependency; however there is still possibility of independence if emotional and social development take place appropriately. In an ideal world, one takes accountability for personal actions and their outcomes. This allows for self-reliance and offers a sense of security which is a mandate for a fulfilling existence.

Learning to connect

The world we live in has collective unconscious networks. Carl Gustav Jung proposed that everyone has a 5% of their consciousness common with every other being on the sphere. Several intertwined associations, dependence, interdependence and counter-dependence. There is always too much that holds people together, sometimes even in a pathological manner. Colors can blend into a mosaic, or end up as a dark muddled blob, depending on how they are merged. Twine rightfully braided forms a beautiful pattern whereas left by itself becomes a messy inseparable coil of knots. Connections need to be precise. That is when messages are transmitted dead-on and relationships are nurtured.

When relationships get sour

The connect
A relationship is a connection between two individuals. All relationships thrive on inter-dependence. Some are sturdier than others. These are the long-term bonds, and they often involve emotions. Now, that is where the catch is. Emotions, trust, commitment, attachment, and dependence all form the building blocks of relationships. But sentiments if tampered with, can act as weak links of the interpersonal dyad, which may break the connection if the stress and the associated emotive trauma become agonizing. Connects are precious and yet so hard to sustain.

Quantifying irrationality

Life isn’t perfect. Things don't go the way they were ‘supposed’ to or ‘destined’ to or the way you ‘expected’ or ‘wanted’ them to. Not even the way they ‘should’ have been. Life is full of expectations and desires and wants that occasionally stay unfulfilled and unconsummated. And truly, it’s not unjust to want to relish the pleasures this world has to offer us. After all we work so hard for them. Everyone works and toils for peace and joy. Asceticism or self-denial is not the route to nirvana. But rationality is a must. Living within rational limits of expectations allows one to have them fulfilled more frequently. And that fetches contentment without doubt.