That positive thought: 1

Negative is included in the pretext of positive; else the impact of positive wouldn't seem affirmative enough. We were not born with negative beliefs or irrational expectations or cognitive distortions. In fact no one knowledgeably taught us any of those either. Somewhere along the way we lose perspective and start believing in the irrational. We either become unrealistically optimistic and we are let down (only to lose faith completely and get distrustful forever); or we simply never experience happy moments enough to believe that there is a sunnier side to things. Life originally is positive; the world fundamentally stifling. Thus negatives get added and seem to become elemental. These need to be unlearned and replaced with positive thoughts which comprise:

Preparedness

Open-mindedness

Self-examination

Innovation

Transparency

Interest

Vigilance

Expressiveness

Characterological DepressionShefali Batra

When negativity and pessimism get deeply ingrained in one’s persona, there is a transformation in the outlook towards life. It seems like life was never worthy, things never happened right and relationships never worked. When there are no persevering memories of happiness or contentment, the mind cannot retain images of sanguinity. When asked to recall happy and positive moments, one usually denies their existence. There is thus no baseline to get back to.

Imperfect Perfectionism

Yes that’s just perfect. The food tastes perfect, the presentation seems perfect, the outfit looks perfect, I took my medicines and now I feel perfect. So much that we find perfect in this world and a lot more that we find inadequate; that gives us reason to nitpick. There is very little in this sphere that is flawless and impeccable. Seeing the good in others is desirable and it helps us build better relationships. It offers less dissatisfaction and more contentment. But more often than not, it’s not the negative outlook of others that troubles. It’s the over analytical outlook towards your own self. The desire fro perfectionism that is ‘ideal’ but not ‘attainable’.

What’s your problem?

Seriously, what is your problem? This question is not tinted with sarcasm or contempt. Not probing here to mock or ridicule you. Not questioning to demean or belittle you. But to sincerely know, do you really think you have a problem? Problem is such a small 7-letter word but in reality its bulk topples our lives when we face one. And then most of us face so many at a given point in time! We talk of big problems, small problems; little problems, mild problems, serious problems, minor problems, major problems, petty problems, old problems, new problems; you and I keep saying this all the time. We always seem to be having some or the other problem some or all of the time!