There’s hardly anyone who’s never been angry, not ever
snapped in a fit of rage, a storm of fury or blizzard of wrath. Anger is an
innate human emotion; a response to frustration, stemming from lack of
fulfillment of what one (supposedly) needs, wants or craves. Anger is damaging yet it is ubiquitous. If only we were strong enough to use the RIGHT defenses to shield our shortcomings...
Anger is not therapeutic for you or the object of your anger.
Anger projects one as outrageous and harebrained; leaving the world amused by
the inconsiderate reactions of the angry person. People really don't understand
why other people scream at them. Everyone has the similar hearing abilities; a
louder volume doesn't essentially have a deeper impact. Children, spouses,
employees, neighbors, housemaids, workers; everyone needs a message but it
doesn't have to be in a high frequency and elevated pitch. It really doesn't
add value to the argument.
Question (yourself)
It’s important to identify the causes for anger. Maybe it’s
just a low threshold. Possibly you’re having hard days at work. Probably there
are other stresses leading to lack of inner peace. Dissatisfaction with your
job, spouse, self, can let you off the handle. You are the mirror of your hidden
emotions. You wouldn't know unless you ask yourself:
- What really is anger?
- What am I really feeling?
- When does it happen to me?
- Why do I feel the need to get angry?
- Why am I so afraid to make mistakes?
- Why do I justify all my imperfect behavior?
- Does this really soothe me or give me answers?
- Why am I feeling so resentful of everyone around?
- Why am I protecting myself from learning from all this?
A lot of energy is spent on the emoting process, screaming,
getting worked up; and eventually, you agree that you were wrong and you may
even end up brooding over it superfluously. That’s not helping you or your
relationship with people around you. This "hindsight" should keep you
humble and help you diffuse future flare-ups.
"Nobody's perfect. We are all human."
After all who you are, what you project of yourself and how
you present yourself to the world indeed matters. You have to take
responsibility for your emotions.
Keep perspective
We all have our own anger buttons. Some of us are so anger
prone that when we explode the whole neighborhood knows! Your threshold needs
to be adjusted to the situational demands. Just like you dress differently and
aptly for varied occasions, so also you need to modify your emotional
reactions. You must understand this well so you modulate your reactions
appropriately.
Love thyself
If you loved yourself enough you wouldn't go that extra mile
to raise the workload on your heart, elevate that blood pressure, key up those
nerves, decrease the blood supply to your brain, increase the effort on the
lungs and escalate the acid production to eat up the lining of your stomach; by
getting furious. Anger may or may not arouse change in the person you are expressing
it towards; it definitely reworks you, your body as well as your mind in
often-irreversible ways. The body and intellect condition themselves to let
your spark loose at the tiniest instant and you begin to get furious for
reasons that seem implausible to you too (in case you find the time to
introspect and realize this). You need to love yourself enough, to not endanger
your own peace by getting angry.
Know the foe
Anger is one’s own personal enemy. It’s a very common tool
used to challenge the opponent, not realizing that it is self-defeating. When
things don't go your way, getting upset and screeching at someone lets off
steam. But rage doesn't help resolve problems, build relationships, win respect
or invite friendships. It dampens physical strength and clouds brainpower. If
that wasn't enough, it antagonizes people, draws dislike and fosters disregard.
Get hold of your anger before it takes you over. If you know your enemy you can
conquer him better. Know why you go off the handle and take steps to change.
Conquer your dark side. It's the biggest victory…
No comments:
Post a Comment