Love thy sibling

Siblings are a boon for those who have (even one). Nonetheless, family structures have changed over the decades; family ties have weakened; and with modernization and rebuilding of family units, single children have almost become a norm. Single children truly miss out on the pleasure of the company a sibling. The camaraderie that siblings share during their formative years; can be the building block of relationships in the future. In adolescent years siblings can be the best of friends and support systems for each other. Yet, there are always two sides to a coin and one has to fear the negatives too. At times those who don’t have a sibling may be glad because they do not have to face the demon of sibling rivalry!

What is sibling rivalry?

By definition, rivals compete for the same thing. And they tend to disregard and disrespect the other for selfish reasons. No one in this universe is all forgiving and all perfect. Rivalry is bound to occur at every step of the way. And as siblings, you may be the best of friends one moment, and can hate each other so intensely at the next! Life is full of competition and rivalry anyways and looks like siblings were meant to be no exception. Hence rivalry may be considered as a part of normal development through your life span.

Rivalry? But why?

Parents are the most intrigued by rivalry between siblings. Coming from the same set of parents in the same household, raised usually in similar fashion; why would siblings have issues with each other? Simple questions have the most intriguing answers. In this reality teenage can become one of the worst times if siblings choose to not respect each other’s points of view. And it surely can turn blissful if siblings learn to accept and learn from each other

Take advantage

A brother or sister around your same age may arouse competitiveness in you while you are young (we all are made like that!). You may feel superior or inferior in many regards and may start looking at your sibling as an enemy who you wish to outsmart. If you have a much younger sibling you would have to deal with being a role model. If you are younger then you might have to cope with your brother and/or sister following you around all the time and wanting you to be like them. Whatever it is, you need to appreciate the individuality of yourself as well as your siblings so that you can make the relationship more respectable.

Look up to your sibling as a role model

True role models are those who possess the qualities that we would like to have and those who have affected us in a way that makes us want to be better people. A role model helps you to advocate for yourself and your goals, and take leadership on the issues that you believe in. Look for reasons to look up to your brothers and sisters for who they are at their core.

Do not let boredom get in your way

It takes a lot of effort to keep any relationship going. Blood bonds are considered to be so weak today because people do not invest time and effort into them. The best bonds are those of trust (and love yes). You need to find ways to trust your siblings and help them to build their trust in you. Do things together that are fun, things that your brother and sister may not have done with their friends. Take time out, go watch a movie, go for an art or rock show; have some fun together. The happy moments that you and your sibling spend together always strengthen the bond that comes into play when the sad moments try to bring you down.

Share (yourself)

Between siblings, sharing is commonly expected. However, this itself may bring out unrest and instigate one against the other. If you are willing to share yourself with your brother or sister, you are communicating with them heart to heart (then sharing material objects hardly forms a source of trouble at all) when you share what you feel, you give people a chance to know you, appreciate you; and love you better.

Brighter side?

Sibling rivalry (at any age) is a way to learn appropriate behaviours for getting along with others. It gives you a chance to experiment with and deal with situations that you may encounter with other people outside of your family. However, you must use the experience positively, learn to become more patient and tolerant with your siblings; because the world outside will not love you as much as your brother and sister can! So make the best of your time with them.

Tips for enhancing sibling relations

Do not let yourself get bored

Find some common hobbies

Respect each other strongly

Give each other some space

Learn to share things & feelings

Back to kindergarten: ABCDE

Approach (them)

Believe (in them)

Confide (in them)
Depend (on them)
Empathize (with them)

The world will seem like a better place suddenly!