Imperfect Perfectionism

Yes that’s just perfect. The food tastes perfect, the presentation seems perfect, the outfit looks perfect, I took my medicines and now I feel perfect. So much that we find perfect in this world and a lot more that we find inadequate; that gives us reason to nitpick. There is very little in this sphere that is flawless and impeccable. Seeing the good in others is desirable and it helps us build better relationships. It offers less dissatisfaction and more contentment. But more often than not, it’s not the negative outlook of others that troubles. It’s the over analytical outlook towards your own self. The desire fro perfectionism that is ‘ideal’ but not ‘attainable’.

Perfectionism as a construct

Perfectionism as an abstract noun seems like an intangible notion. Who defines perfectionism; who lays down criteria for the same, do we have a worksheet to check off items that eventually determine that we are perfect? Perfectionism is our personal evaluation of external as well as internal constructs (including ourselves). It is a will to reach the peak of tenable potential by self-criticality and subsequent self-amendment for betterment. However we sometimes let things off the handle with over criticality and take wrong (rather unhealthy) steps that lead to downfall instead of improvement.

The healthy perfectionist (HP)

Healthy perfectionists have the will to enhance themselves. There may not be an end point to their effort (at least not in their own mind). They better themselves for the sake of betterment. Their improvement is their only reward.

• I want to study to become better educated
• I want to exercise to keep fit and stay healthy
• I want to take this course to become more aware
• I want to work harder to improve my performance
• I want to spend time with family because I love them

Healthy perfectionism always leads to favorable and positive outcomes. For the people as well as others around them. There is no hidden motive to their actions. There is high level of self-focus (in a selfless manner) that enhances personal ability as well as has positive impacts on others. The HP wants to improve himself, excellence comes to him as a by product (he as if did not even struggle for it)

The unhealthy perfectionist (UP)

UPs are people who are heading towards the finishing line (just like their healthy counterparts the HPs) while the race is on. However the healthy perfectionist is running because it’s healthy to run a race. He sees the finishing line and keeps focus on it. The unhealthy perfectionist keeps turning backward to make sure he’s right ahead with a good lead and that others are not too close behind him. The stress and worry in the UP’s mind is enormous. It leads to fatigue and anxiety. The itch: ‘what if I don't win?’ Their thought process is somewhat like this:

• I want to study to get the first rank
• I want to exercise to be as slim as her
• I want to take this course to get the highest marks
• I want to work harder to get promoted to the top position
• I want to spend time with family so that they do not complain

Unhealthy perfectionism also leads to suitable consequences and outcomes (if you study hard you are bound to get the first rank and if you have better ideas you will be promoted whether you ask for it or not). However the path that leads to the outcome may not be as exciting for the UP. The constant look at the start line tires them out. They want to run away from the starting point; more vivaciously than they want to reach the finish line. HPs run towards success. UPs run away from failure. They seem to be on the same path. However their perspectives are different. One amounts to ‘want for furtherance’ the other qualifies as ‘fear of failure’. And eventually, our focus becomes us. If we target victory we enjoy the sweet success we earned. If we escaped failure, it lingers on and in spite of achieving triumph there is an irking fear of still lacking (you never lose focus of failure because it was always your driving factor)

Don't run the rat race

It’s important to respect yourself in all that you do. Your PERSPECTIVE changes your world even though it doesn't change a single worldly event in reality. Running the race is good. But running a rat race is no help because even if you win it, you’re still a rat…