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| i'm cute but you shouldn't have me |
It’s not criminal to want what you
want. We all have wants and desires and expectations and dreams. They are
totally permissible and authorized. What
is unsanctioned is your condition that you should get what you want right when
you want it. You choose to not exercise that self control which will in the
longer run work better for you as well as those around you. You most likely
know that being impulsive does not get you to a favorable consequence but you
tend to deny yourself that chance. And you lash out…
…at your employee for skipping work not
knowing she lost her spouse the previous day…
…your child for messing the room not
realizing she painted a beautiful birthday card for you…
…the man who you thought was was jay walking, not
appreciating that he had a cane with a red tip and that he was blind…
So
what is the PIG really?
The problem of immediate gratification
is a universal principle referring to the immediate reward of an action seeming
more attractive than the harm that it may cause at a later date. When you act
impulsively, you fail to see the long-term significances of your deeds. You
lose that self control and cannot delay your impulse to lash out with words or
your action. Your anger and irritation gets vented and you do feel better for a few moments. And these refer to negative impulses, not positive ones. You are
always allowed to unexpectedly show gestures of love, shower gifts, praise your
children or reward your employees. What is not acceptable is:
- Raising your voice
- Raising your hand
- Expressing disrespect
- Slapping your child
- Sending mean texts
- Writing rude emails
- Slamming doors
- Rash driving when upset
- Uncontrollably smoking
- Excessively drinking
It is always a good vent to swear when
someone passes your lane while you are driving or smack your child when he or
she has scored lower grades. It’s harder to slow yourself on the road and
realize maybe it was partly your own fault too; or sit your children down and
explain the importance of studies and motivate them to work harder next time.
You do feel guilty about it later on but you cannot hold back that emotion just
before it explodes. The PIG works like magic: everything must go my way. I will
express what I feel is right and I will express it in that form at the spur of
that very moment in the very style I deem appropriate.
The
myopic vision
Shortsightedness entails an inability
to see what’s far and makes one focus on what’s near because that's as distant
as their vision allows them. When you wear the spectacles of patience and understanding,
you can decrease your myopia and look farther; beyond your current impulsive reaction.
You can visualize the impact of today’s imprudent words and actions and envision
how they will change your tomorrow for the worse. You can see the relationships
that you will sacrifice because of your anger, the respect you will forfeit
because of your careless blows, and the self-confidence that you will kill
because of your harsh words. Look beyond and ahead of the problem. Look at the
far off solution and act and speak accordingly.
Delay that gratifying urge
Decide that you will be rude another day. Promise that you will
save your anger just for an hour later. Resolve that you will react to your child’s
report card 24 hours after you see it. Become more patient, calm, giving and considerate.
It will make you a better person. You will grow as a human being, in the eyes
of others as well as yourself. Just learn to see right. Give up that PIG…
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