Success Drivers

Need for success

Everyone doesn’t feel the itch to succeed. Some yearn for it relentlessly but fail to achieve it; others seem nonchalant about it and are always accomplishing tough goals with poise. Success has distinct definitions for different people. Nonetheless, the Olympic gold for the runner equates the daily target of the minimum wage earner when he earns his daily bread; success is sweet, success is rewarding and success is desirable. That definitely makes success worth the effort needed to achieve it…

Dance Therapy

Movement and the mind

Bodily movement is closely related to energy levels in the mind. Various pathologies in the brain reflect themselves through physical agility as well as immobility. Depression is well known to bring about anergia, diminished activity, over sleeping as well as ‘lazy and inert’ tendencies. Mania on the other hand is characterized by excessive activity, unrealistic bursts of energy, and ‘hyperactive tendencies’ with lessened need to rest. Movement is certainly more significant than the cognizance it receives in the world today. It arouses sub-conscious emotional, cognitive, social and behavioral changes. Dance and movement as a therapeutic modality have developed over the past few decades. Dance therapy is one of the most effective ‘expressive therapies’ today.

Dual Sex Therapy

Sexuality is an important component of existence, a basic human need and a non trivial factor in assuring holistic health and wellness. Passion drives all humans. Understanding human sexuality, it's mandates, requisites and preferences is essential to attain fulfilling sexual experiences. Sexuality isn't a taboo as once was deemed. It is a matter of deliberate choice and making the right choice for oneself is always prudent. A blend of the appropriate desire to please and the incessant will to satisfy; over and above the wish to experience pleasure oneself drives the sensual soul. Sex therapy is aimed at increasing personal and interpersonal awareness of self as well as the other's needs. Each participant is encouraged to focus on their own varied sensual experience rather than to see physical satisfaction as the sole goal of a sexual encounters. This enriches the self as well as the relationship.

Building Experiential Wisdom

Intellect and its essence

Intelligence does not conquer all. More often than not, the apparent high graders do not classify as emotionally intelligent. Intellectual arrogance is the seed of downfall while humility of the unwise can work miracles owing to the prospects it offers for learning. There isn’t much left to discover if one knows it all. Intelligence ought to be applied perceptively towards pertinent outcomes. Wisdom calls for the wit to apply prejudgments optimally. As Einstein rightly put it, common sense is a collection of prejudices acquired in the formative years of life. Therapy that inculcates common sense is the need of the hour!

Transactional Analysis Therapy

Transactions in life

According to Eric Berne, life is a series of interactions between all human beings. These interactions include some exchange of thought, emotion, ideas, energies, anything at all. But there is always an exchange in the interaction. These are better understood as transactions. Everything you do with someone is a transaction. And at the end of it we land ourselves in spots that are called ‘life positions’. These are:

• I am OK you are OK 
• I am OK you are not OK 
• I am not OK you are OK 
• I am not OK you are not OK 

These are in a specific order because this is the sequence of desirable ascent. We try our best to be happy and keep everyone else contented too. Sometimes we end up hurting others (partners, parents, employees, or friends); at other times we are miffed by them; and yet others we see discontent within ourselves and everyone around. That is the worst position to be in.

Behavior Modification

Origin of civilization and behavior
Edward Thorndike was the first person to describe behavior therapy in 1911. He was focused on methods that modify behavior. Clearly, there was a reason to wish that some particular behavior be altered; thus implying that behavior can become malfunctioned and subsequently requires timely repair like a mechanical or electrical devices. Behavior therapy is as old as civilization itself. Asking a third person for advice regarding how to deal with the ill impact of another’s actions on oneself is behavior therapy. There are wide ranges of techniques that can be used to change the behavior of oneself or another. Pure behavior therapy without mindfulness is seen in animals (it is well understood as training). Human behavior is usually connected with thoughts and feelings. These are incorporated in the therapy paradigm. 

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

The need to solve problems
Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) was initially introduced by the American psychotherapist Albert Ellis in the 1950’s. It is a structured and time limited comprehensive psychotherapy that focuses on resolving emotional and behavioral turbulence in the human mind. The outcome, like all forms of psychotherapy is an enriched and fulfilling existence. As the name suggests it focuses on the rational (reasoning), emotive (feelings and emotions), and behavioral (actions) components to gain a complete understanding of the nature of one’s problems and thereby take appropriate steps to solve them.

Play Therapy

Play and therapy

Play is usually identified as something recreational, fun and participative. Using play in learning is a challenging and innovative method to mitigate personal change. Play therapy is a form of counseling or psychotherapy that uses play to communicate with and help people, especially children, and it helps to prevent or resolve psycho-social challenges. Because children cannot express themselves the way we adults can, the use of play is thought to help them towards better social integration, growth and development. Play therapy is generally employed with children aged 3 through 11 and provides a way for them to express their experiences and feelings in a natural and non-threatening manner which does not intimidate them. As children’s experiences and knowledge are often communicated through play, it becomes an important vehicle that helps them to know and accept themselves as well as those around them.

Cognitive Therapy of Aaron Beck

Origin

Cognitive therapy (CT) is a type of psychotherapy that was developed by American psychiatrist Aaron T. Beck in the 1960’s. Cognitive therapy seeks to help the patient overcome emotional difficulties by identifying and changing dysfunctional thinking, negative emotional responses and the subsequent unfavorable behavior stemming from them. This process involves helping patients develop skills for modifying their beliefs, identifying distorted thinking and relating to people in newer and different ways, owing to the change in behavior patterns.

Autism: More than self-obsession

Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)

As a child progresses from a newborn to infancy to toddlerhood, we see several developmental changes in all dimensions. The physical bodily growth, advancement of language, communicating with words and actions, as well as the rest of the world around; is all part of the developmental spectrum. Sometimes some children lag behind in one or more of the aspect of this spectrum. Such a lag in either one or all of speech, relatedness, communication and expression leads to a problem called pervasive developmental disorder (PDD). Autism is one such type of PDD.

Do kids really get depressed?

Childhood

Childhood is a carefree, happy and blissful time. Infanthood as if was crafted only to be enjoyed by children (as well as their parents). But it’s not uncommon for our little ones to feel the pressures and strains of today’s life. They too can feel deep sadness and dejection inside their innocent hearts and innocuous minds. Children truly know how to feel pain. They sense deeper loneliness and neglect more than we are capable of even imagining. Our kids ‘know’ depression. And they can experience it…

Anxious about kids being anxious?

Kids and anxiety

Yes our children do get anxious. They have their own set of worries, apprehensions and fears in life. Adults feel that they have the worldly burden on their shoulders while childhood is carefree and joyous. It’s not always so. Childhood ‘ought’ to be happy-go-lucky and relaxed. And that is what we have to strive for in our kids. Anxiety has been better researched unlike other childhood problems such as autism, and ADHD. Children worry about the smallest issues and take great levels of stress. Possibly the demands that parents place on their kids overwhelms them. At other times children sense the stress in the household. They know when there is friction between parents or in laws or grandparents. They are more receptive and emotive than we ever realize. They have self-standards too besides the ones you set for them. All these can get quite overpowering and your little child cannot cope with it.

The umbrella of learning disability

What is LD?

LD is an acronym for Learning Disorder or Learning Disability. Essentially the LDs comprise a series of deficits that interfere with the child’s ‘learning’. Hence we use the term ‘disorder’. Children with LD learn things in a manner that's different from the conventional pattern. There may be a deficit in reading, writing, or mathematics. The processing of information in the brain is different and the techniques used to understand information are somehow unusual. The learning process thus becomes very tedious in the brains of such individuals. This faulty pattern has to be corrected in order for the appropriate learning experience to build.

Not so blessed with intellect

Why my child?

All children are divine gifts from God. How the little embryo transforms in to the fetus and is delivered from your being into this universe is a miraculous process. And as much as science has progressed to help us understand the process, we still don't know things that go on at the back end before we get the final product in our hands. Some of our children seem to develop and progress as per the accepted norms and stages that they must accomplish at times in their development. However, for some reason, some children lag behind in the same. Some in fact may be faster than their normal counterparts while others are slower. And at times the slower ones do not have the ability to catch up. It’s not their fault. It’s simply the way it was destined for them. These kids who lack the ability to develop in their mind and their abilities as they are supposed to in keeping with other kids of their age, have intellectual deficits.

Good old temper tantrums

Which kid doesn't throw tantrums?

That's a fact: all kids have tantrums. Why kids: all adults throw tantrums once in a while and this is considered normal. We all have seen kids getting upset and crying and probably we ourselves would prefer to screech every once in a while when life is treating us iniquitously. We cannot indeed have a world without tantrums and frenzies. We need to understand these tantrums better so we can take care of tantrummy children effectively…

ADHD: Pay attention to it

All kids are hyper

We all have seen kids getting overexcited and probably we ourselves have been inattentive when we were kids (maybe even now). Today in fact that 5 out of 10 kids may be hyperactive. However, similarity in pattern and commonality of occurrence is not a defense for abnormality. We need to comprehend ADHD better so we can take care of our children. ADHD comprises inattentiveness, over-activity, impulsivity, or a combination. Of course these need to be excess of normal to actually consider it to be a problem or disorder.

Sleep: What you didn't know

Passivity and sleep

Sleep is frequently considered to be a passive phenomenon, something we do because it's the end of the day, we are perhaps tired and we need to rest and build up our energies once again to prepare for the next day. It’s falsely presumed that as the light is switched off at night, so also is the mind and all its functioning ability. Rightfully so, all of the above are true to a certain extent, and sleep replenishes zest and enthusiasm to live yet another day and accomplish ones daily goals. However, there is more to sleeping and the dynamics of sleep ought to be better understood by every person who has ever slept and continues to do so everyday. That makes each and everyone of us. Ignorance is bliss but knowledge is truly an eye opener. Open your eyes to sleep right…

Depression: What you didn't know

Ordinary sadness

The normalcy of unhappiness is less acknowledged by our society that strives for perfection (which itself is a myth of perception). Dissatisfaction, sadness, frustration and discontentment are all customary reactions to anomalous events. What one chooses to do with them takes them on the path to personal growth and transformation versus depression and melancholy.  Nonetheless cognizance of the direction one is about to take is imperative to offer an understanding of ones own psychological processes. There are things we know; and then there are the masked and unknown subtleties that escape our eye. Identification of trouble is the first most important step for solving it. Clarify the myths to bask in the warmth of reality...

Learn to listen

The knack

Listening is one of the most used but least taught skills. Practice does make man perfect; rehearsal and training are a mandate for any talent acquisition. Contrary to popular belief, listening is an active phenomenon while hearing can be passive, inert and uninvolved. Hearing is involuntary, reflex and a function of the ear and the auditory area of the brain. Listening on the other hand requires conscious effort and cognitive processes to relocate the listened material into the short-term memory store and subsequently into the long-term memory stockpile. Learning to listen amounts to be a gainful, wise and deliberate aptitude accrual.

Criticism: Offer it constructively (2)

Criticism needn’t essentially imply ‘fault finding’. Albeit infamously labeled as uncompassionate expression of disapproval and dissent, it is an expression of discontentment and can be presented sensitively, yet effectively. Arguments and fights can be evaded if criticism is is offered with constructive and non-derogatory intentions. Critics have often been referred to as holders of the faculty of knowledge. Those with academic superiority, and socio-emotional actualization know the content and process of criticism to assure its acceptance. If governed by politeness and decency, criticism can transform the world for the better when ground rules of its exposition are obeyed:

Concise

Criticism: Offer it constructively (1)

Perspectives

The 14th century identified criticism purely in the literary perspective; offering appraisal of art and literature. The 20th century saw it approaching pros and cons and identified it as scientific activity. Currently the 21st century is evidence to criticism being a loosely adopted method to have objection, express dissent and reject something outright with minimal compassion. Used meaningfully, criticism is an effective stimulus to generate personal growth and mitigate improvement in performance. Nonetheless a tool is not effective unless used suitably.  The content, intent and recipient ought to be fitting to make the impact. Criticism is effective if it matches these ground rules:

there are bitter truths that need to be spoken
they can however be spoken sweetly
rudeness is not mandatory
kindness is

Concise

Respectful

Insightful

Truthful

Introspective

Clear

Important

Sincere

Meaningful

Criticism: Take it constructively

Criticism involves judgments on merits as well as faults. It may or may not be welcome, but taken in the right vein it can be a tool to motivate self improvement and growth. Criticism is of great value when it comes from reliable sources and is well presented. Nonetheless viewpoints and prejudices of narrow-minded and self-prophesizing individuals may amount to destructive criticism and can impact others negatively. How the world presents things to us isn’t in our control but what we choose to do with it truly is.

Truth about risks

Warranties

Life offers limited guarantees; the only surety is that of its end. It is the lone truth that ought to drive each one to make wiser choices and rational decisions. At the same time life itself exemplifies change, growth and revolution. Effort and endurance are options, favorable outcomes from them aren’t. All human endeavors involve risks, some more than others. The potential that an action will lead to loss, failure and damage exemplifies the urgency of making the right choice at the accurate moment in the suitable situation. Risks will always exist and the fear of diving in may be deemed sensible, however rational and sound judgment with analysis of the aftermath usually works towards near warranties.

The guilty conscience

Morality

A guilty conscience denotes existence of a moral standard within oneself; a super ego that has the ability to identify a compromise in morality, subsequently directing an individual towards pro social acts. Guilt is an emotion and brings out responsibility towards the violation, typically warranting merit for the correction. Guilt can also have negative eventualities with self-blame leading to withdrawal, self-resentment, delusions and frequently suicide. Consciousness as well as unawareness of guilt can have ruinous outcomes. It is imperative to understand and deal with guilt to reach a truce in the battle between the id and ego as well as ego and super-ego.

Don't be a fool......

Wisdom
No one is born astute. Wisdom isn’t effectively a subject taught in school, cataloged as a specialty in a college or a mandate category in a job interview. Yet the world desires, respects and salutes wisdom. The complexity of intelligence and ways to build it has been the focus of research and study worldwide. At a rudimentary level, foolishness is simply an inability to make careful choices. Lack of intelligence is in fact described as stupidity. One may be intelligent and yet act foolish at times owing to momentary deficits in reasoning (this is rather common.) The wise man is not one who knows it all; rather he is one who accepts that he doesn't!