Control the world around you

switch on switch off that's it?

So there IS that button that switches things on and off the way you want it? It really IS that easy to have your way with others? To make them treat you right. But the catch is that you have to do the right thing. That's when the right thing bounces back at you. This is not the era of dictatorship. Your children, your husband or wife, your employees, even your maidservant; no one takes autocracy well these days.  It’s not governance. And then look at the parliament house: not like there’s a lot of respect these days even for leaders…So how do we get that sense of control over people who really need to be under our control?

Give up that monarchy

Following by free choice is different from submitting to mighty conformity. Today’s you lead because of your fan following. There is nothing else that determines kingship. There is no one and there can be no other Hitler. You need to give up that prejudgment that you are more important than those around you. Just because you are a parent or spouse or employer or friend you cannot expect to rule all those who are a part of your existence. When you become part of the democracy (in everyday life) you build better relationships with people. You live of, for and by the ones who make your world.

Give respect

That is the single and only way that respect will ever come to you. If you are a parent, learn to let your child know that his or her opinion matters but yours is probably going to be better for them in the long run and so they should follow what you say. Start letting your partner know that you value them but maybe you just differ in certain opinions; still you are willing to try alternatives because you respect their judgment. Speak with great regard to those who serve you because they do things you are unable, unwilling, often incapable of doing by yourself.

Appreciate

It’s the best way to get more out of people. And don't be fake, it shows. It shows very lucidly. Offer appreciation from the heart, in personal as well as business dealings. There’s very little distance between the neurons of cognitive and emotional parts of your brain, so exercise them both prudently and give the right amount of praise in the appropriate settings to the desirous people for the definitive reasons. When you offer specific praise (in children as well as adults), the message goes home deeper and the suitable behaviors get reinforced.

Shape

Change always occurs one step at a time. No one is perfect. Give them time to change. Offer support and direction. Clay is hard to mold once solidified. If you try too hard it will break. If you keep kneading in the initial phase, it will still take a wrong shape. YOU need to be the medium soft clay and change in situations to accommodate people around you. That’s how they will be motivated to change to your requirements too.

Breathe

Don't let your emotions get the better of you. Don't react at once. Be liberal with praise of course, but be weary of harsh words. Tone them down. Delay the gratifying urge that makes you want to lash out. Deal with the problem of immediate gratification (PIG) that makes you see the close benefits but overlooks the distant harms it causes to your relationships. Always take a breather and offer your negative reactions intelligently, not emotionally (make your cognitive and emotional brain reach a truce)

Smile

The world likes pleasant people. They set an example with their aura. Be different from the rest. Be stronger and calmer and enthusiastic and patient. It’s not so easy to be happy in this world. Even in the movies, it’s easier to cry on a sad scene than to find a funny scene worthy of laughing to. But some of us have the ability to take the turbulent way and yet emerge as unruffled winners. Be one of those. Set an example, not for others, first for yourself.

You can do it…