When was the last time you stopped and vacillated on something? On the
lines of:
I’ll do it but this is probably not the right time...
I’ll consider it but this is possibly not the right choice...
He/she is nice but perhaps this is not the right match for me...
The human mind is most well known for its indecisiveness and
uncertainty. The universality of this wavering is evident in everyday
happenings. What must we wear, what should we talk, where would we eat, what should
we eat, what movie do we watch today, will he/she break my heart, is he/she
spot-on for me…the list of maybes and may be nots is endless. And rightly so,
it's a part of our existence. Life is not a railway train that's unchanging on
its tracks and cannot make diversions. We all drive cars that can take
alternate paths in the woods (even though there are roads already paved for
us!) and if not we still have the opportunity to ‘walk’ our own way whenever we
want, wherever we are and however we choose to do so.
Who decides
what's right for you?
There is no right and wrong in this world; is as true a statement as
is: there are infinite rights and wrongs on this planet…
What seems right to us or for is probably wrong for someone else. A
job that we failed to acquire became the livelihood for another when he/she was
selected for it. The dress that was disliked by another became so right for us
when we bought it. Many a times in life the one who broke our heart, mended
that of another while we found another companion to restore and nourish ours.
We fail to realize how unique each one of us is. Each has its own existential
intentions. Each has its own purpose (to
seek). We were all literally thrown into this world and left to find our
purpose and give our life it’s personalized meaning. We need to find that ‘fit’
between that purpose and ourselves. That is when you will feel that your life
‘has’ purpose (once you have accomplished it!)
Right and wrong based on morality?
Decisions are not always essentially moral. While those that are,
still use the same brain processes to reach a conclusion. Scientists at Harvard
University have found
that humans can make difficult moral decisions using the same brain circuits as
those used in making more mundane choices related to for instance money and
food. Just like you know that you like to eat a particular flavor of ice cream,
so also you are cognizant of the fact that you will not pass lanes while you
drive on the road or walk out of a store with an item without paying for it
even though no one saw you. However some of us face trouble reaching even
mundane decisions, leave alone the bigger moral ones. We need to train
ourselves to be decisive, and more so, make the right decisions for ourselves
as well as the world around us.
Be calculative
Those who know what they want are not simply lucky or more intelligent
than us (as we usually claim them to be). They make the choices based on their
self-awareness. You need to befriend yourself and know yourself before
expecting that things will fall into place and life will become picture
perfect. Simple insight into your tastes, your habits, your preferences, your
strengths and importantly your shortcomings, will enlighten you and offer you
direction in times of quandary.
Be an
accountant
You always need to compare the relative sizes of costs and benefits.
Just like when you buy a car, you must balance the cost of insurance against
the cost of repairs. You don’t know at the outset whether you will have to pay
for expensive repairs down the road. But you must make the right decision
knowing that it always makes sense to invest more today for a somewhat better
time in case of trouble tomorrow. Smaller decisions are manageable and if you
don't like the movie you watched or the restaurant you visited today you could
go to a better one tomorrow. Some decisions however need more attention. Your
career, your life partner and above all your morality and the direction you
give it on a day-to-day basis need the right thoughtfulness.
Leap of faith
You could be leaping into a ditch or diving into a calm sea. True it’s
always nicer to know where you’re heading, but unfortunately (and thankfully)
we don't have time machines so we can’t predict the future outcomes of our
choices today. But we can certainly change the outcomes by altering our
perspectives about the process so that we work harder to appreciate the aftermaths
and accept them to make them ‘right’ for us. They don't (and never will be)
right at the outset. They just turn out right in retrospect because we ‘make’
them right. Often on the 25th wedding anniversary you appreciate
that you made the right choice in marriage; at the pinnacle of your career
success (which occurs easily a decade or two after you start work) you sense
that you were born to do this very job. If you don't take the leap you will
never find a job or a home or a car or a life partner. We are all ordinary
decision makers. We just have to put whatever available information about
probability and anticipated magnitude together to reach our decision.
Take that leap of faith!
No comments:
Post a Comment