Why toddlers are difficult creatures

To cope with toddler behavior is a mammoth task. You tend to lose your head and test your own patience and you frequently turn into a monster that surprises you more than anyone else around! You react unthinkingly, you say things thoughtlessly and sometimes you lash out with your actions foolishly. If you appreciate some basic principles of development you will understand your children and their behavior challenges gracefully. When you know what you are expecting and more so why it’s coming your way, you can deal with the calamity better…

Virtues or Vices?

Everything that your toddler is can be viewed differently depending on your perspective. Toddlers are learning to do a lot of things and all that they do is actually what will make you proud. You sometimes fail to see it that way. Just like you don’t know why your skin itches when a mosquito bites you. It’s your body’s way of killing toxins that may have entered. But you have to bear the itch. And it’s not pleasant. Look at all these toddler behaviors and think about the emotions they arouse in you…

Desire to explore

This is the innate yearning kids develop when they begin to creep, crawl and walk around the house. They can see all those tantalizing delights around the room (vases, crystal, plants, shoes), and find ways to get their hands on them. So toddlers toddle— relentlessly. It’s like a game to reach places: bathrooms, kitchen sinks, dustbins, pet bowls: but it’s not their fault.  

Will to tool

Babies develop hand skills to manipulate everything. Doors are always to be opened, knobs to be turned, drawers pulled, dangling cords yanked, and waste cans emptied. Everything is a fair game to them. To the nosey explorers, the whole house is an unmapped continent, and they intend to leave no stone unturned.

Freedom of speech

Mommy then what happened? Daddy why is this like this? Why can’t I go? Why do I have to eat? Why do I have to be strong? Why can I not play? Why do you watch TV and me not? Why do I have to do homework? Why can you go for the party and not me? Why do I have to wear this and not that? The questions are endless and it’s brilliant for their reasoning ability. But it’s a mixed blessing. The squeals, screeches, whine and cries are all part of the same game. Sometimes their little baby words are pleasing to your ears, and at other times they are nerve-wracking.

The growing mind

Toddlers think, but not logically. Their reasoning seems hilarious at times and frustrating at others. The fact that they offer explanations in challenge to your requests does get irritating but the brighter side, they are learning to reason and use their logic. You have to deal with it sensitively; change their thoughts; do not crush their will to think.

All these behaviors are normal

In the course of development the same behaviors that children need to developmentally advance to the next level are the very ones that can get them into trouble. As your child goes from dependence to independence, he will often merit labels like "defiant" or "bossy," or "impulsive" Some of these are a byproduct of the child's need to become an independent individual. And the "stubbornness" that keeps your child from listening to you as you prevent him from an activity; is the same rigidity that helps him get up after a fall and try again harder.
Get fine tuned with your child

While children are stepping forward into uncharted territory, finding new friends, trying new things, you are bound to expect discipline problems due to the anxiety that always accompanies with experimenting. In each stage, expect the calm to come for sure, but after the storm. On a day your child will crave for independence and choose to wear the strangest color combination in clothes, while on another he will snuggle up to you in bed because he’s afraid of the thundering. You will see phases of dependence and autonomy, connect and disconnect; and you will have to be prepared for them.

The angel devil disguise

The same child who seemed like a devil may act like an angel the next time. On occasion you are the devil and she the angel and vice versa. When parent and child are out of harmony, discipline problems multiply. If your child is trying to break away when you are trying to bond, you are likely to overreact to what may be independence. If you are too busy while your child wishes to connect, you miss a window of opportunity to strengthen your positions as her comforter, adviser, as well as their disciplinarian.

Prophesy

Learn to predict your child’s behavior. If you have an argument before leaving for a party, the conduct is going to be bad at the party. Discipline problems are likely to occur when there are transitions.

• family changes
• house move
• new sibling
• family illness
• new school
• your new job

Any and everything can make children restless. If possible, time major changes in life when your children are not going through major changes themselves. It’s scary for them.

What is "normal" does not have to be acceptable to you

Your child may be boisterous by temperament and he may need to scramble things to build his finger skills and she may want to mess the dinner on the table to have some fun. Yet, he or she may be expected to play quietly for a few days because mommy is recovering from an illness and has a headache. It is healthy for the child to learn that the sun rises and sets on other people besides himself. Children need to learn to adapt to house rules to prepare them to adjust to society's rules. This calls for some appropriate parenting discipline that must be followed calmly and patiently, not with ANGER or frustrations. After all, your kids only live that childhood once; it better be beautiful and worthwhile!