A relationship is a connection between two individuals. All relationships thrive on inter-dependence. Some are sturdier than others. These are the long-term bonds, and they often involve emotions. Now, that is where the catch is. Emotions, trust, commitment, attachment, and dependence all form the building blocks of relationships. But sentiments if tampered with, can act as weak links of the interpersonal dyad, which may break the connection if the stress and the associated emotive trauma become agonizing. Connects are precious and yet so hard to sustain.
The social animal
Man is a social being. All human beings need people around them. Thus all have a motivational drive to form loving, long lasting, positive relationships with others. And one who needs that connect would do what it takes to keep the bond sturdy. Bosses need their employees, spouses love each other, parents adore their children, and nations want world peace. Relationships are quintessential for survival and it only seems normal that ones put in the best to safeguard them.
When grapes turn sour
The hardest efforts, positive emotions, amiable thoughts, and selfless desires often fail; and important relationships get sour. These could be between parents, children, siblings, grandparents, in-laws, couples, partners, lovers, colleagues, friends, bosses and subordinates; any two people who have ever connected with each other at any level. All humans need stability in relationships. If their interpersonal interactions are not satisfying, it leads to sadness, grief, worry, loneliness, and unhappiness. One needs to be comfortable with people around; to derive, and offer positivity to the environment.
Understanding the misunderstanding
Relationships get sour when viewpoints are misunderstood. Best intentions don’t hold substance if they are misheard. There may be a flaw in the participants of the relational dyad, or in the interaction pattern between them. Usually it is a lack in communication or miscommunication. Egos, attitudes, personality styles and personal preferences have a big role to play in building and breaking relationships. Relationships need to be fed, nourished, and nurtured, failing which they suffer and die. Insight into the misjudgments helps cure differences and build profound bonds.
Back to the earlier years
Relationship styles can rightly be linked back to childhood attachment styles that are proposed to influence adult relationships deeply. Besides, nothing in life is static; it's all a continual process that is forever changing. This can also generate a change in expectations between people and lead to stress. Parents expect children to obey, husbands expect wives to understand, bosses expect employees to work over time on one side whereas children expect acceptance and partners expect unconditional love and employees expect higher bonuses. Expectations just seem to never match.
The mending process
One needs to understand relationship dynamics and use the understanding to improve and build relationship strengths and overcome weaknesses. Improvement of any interpersonal problem entails improving communication between individuals. It may be behavioral modification in a toddler, change in lifestyle of a deviant adolescent, increased acceptance and understanding between couples, or meditation and relaxation for an agitated businessman; some change is unquestionably needed. Sometimes the environment alteration also helps ease off anxiety and improves the pattern of communication, which works positively for the relationship. Only then can the relationship survive and thrive. We need relationships. Likewise we need to do what it takes to care for them and mend them when they're scarred.
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