Step into their shoes!

See the checklist below if any of these are your wants:

• My kids mustn’t scream
• Children should listen to us
• They should follow my directions
• Kids should respect their elders always
• I shouldn't have to repeat things to them
• They should understand and do the right thing

If you’ve ticked 3 or more of these (Most will tick all 6), you have some unrealistic expectations from your children. Just like you should not put on weight and your spouse should always understand that you are doing so much for them and your boss should know how hard you work and give you a raise, likewise your kids should do all that you want them to do. How easy is that to expect and how impossible is it to obtain?

Lets see what your kids want

It would unquestionably make life simpler and heavenly if you got what you wanted. It would help you curb your temper, focus on your work better, and keep your blood pressure under control too. But expectations have to be realistic. If only you could step into their shoes and understand what they have been thinking, feeling and wanting…

• My parents mustn’t scream
• My parents should listen to me
• My parents should follow things I say
• My parents should respect my sentiments
• I shouldn’t have to repeat that I want that toy
• They should understand and know that I love to play

Now how awesome would it be for children if their parents knew how they feel? It is not only is it unrealistic to expect kids to do what you want them to right away, it's also rude. Everyone has a strong mind and most of all: the children of today!

Parents should have their way!

Your kids are not robots. They're not servants, not your pets; not even computers.

Computers, for example, are specially made so that when you tell them to do something, the thing happens. Its pre planned and pre programmed (meant to be.) If you click the icon for ‘Word’, the word-processing program should (will) open up. When you click ‘send’ in your email program it should send your email immediately if you're connected to the internet...There is no 2 ways about it happening or not. Machines do what you want them to do the very first time you tell them to do it..

Kids are really made of flesh and blood

Really, children are human beings. The simplest reason why we expect them to do what we wants is because they’re our children. We produced kids for our personal ego boost and self-aggrandizement. We thought lets have some control over them (at least in childhood!). But think hard!

• They’re not machines
• They’re humans like you
• They have desires and wants
• They've got their own interests
• They also have concerns and worries
• They have their own lives going on for them

And just because YOU have decided for them that they should be doing something else, it doesn't mean that they have to obey you. That's not what kids were made for.

Reappraise your parenting status: Who is a parent? Most parents would think:

Reappraise your parenting status: Imagine this from your child’s viewpoint:

You want your kids to think high of you and respect you. This is not going to happen while you keep disrespecting them. You did not become a parent for this. You didn't give birth to that bundle of joy because you needed a little being that you could to boss over and obey your commands.

Where’s that vision?

You definitely had a bigger vision of helping your children learn the right values; and enjoy their childhood, and to raise happy and healthy children that you could love and have fun with. Kids are free thinkers; they want to discover and explore things for themselves. Don't discourage that vision: not in yourself or in them.

Stop being so bossy

With your kids as well as everyone else (partner, friends, colleagues, servants everyone!) We have a bad habit of interrupting kids when they're doing things they want to be doing. So that we can try to get them to do what we want them to do.  And then we get angry and frustrated and then we wonder why the kids are being defensive, talking back, arguing, whining, screaming, cribbing, and complaining? Treat them with respect and it will reflect right back at you.

Wear those little shoes

You would talk back; whine, scream and complain too if someone growled orders at you in the same way you do to your kids without even realizing it. What if your spouse yelled at you to wear your shoes and get into the car since you were late for the movie? What if your mother-in-law raised her voice every time she came over and said, "How many times do I have to tell you to water this plant that I gave you?" What if your colleagues were planning to meet for dinner one night and said, "We're not going anywhere until you brush your hair and tuck in your shirt right now?"

More and More

This is how we talk to our children. Really this ‘IS’ how we talk to them sometimes and we sincerely don't realize it. This is indeed why children talk back, withdraw, get angry, whine, and have tantrums. They are sick and fed up of being bossed around and being expected to do everything that you them want them to do...and you would be sick of it too. You would most likely quit your job or divorce your partner if you were spoken to like this. By bossing your kids and telling them what to do all day, you're disrespecting them and making them love and trust you less. You are ceasing to be a source of love, joy, and safety in their innocent lives. You are becoming someone to resent, battle with, and someone to beware of. You become that ‘painful’ voice they have to hear when they want to have fun. You make your kids want you less by behaving like this.  Your children always respect you. Dont push them away by being like this.

Do The Right Thing!

Do you actually want your kids to grow up being afraid and resenting you? Do you want to be that obnoxious figure that only scolds and does not love? Instead of bossing your kids around, start showing your kids some respect. If you wear their shoes and understand them, they will wear yours and appreciate what you say too!