Rigidity: Good or bad?

Assertive people stick their feet to the ground; have their heads over their shoulders and truth committed to their words. Setting a target and refusing to budge from it is a sign of perseverance and focus. However, failing to set targets in the first place owing to lack of interest; and subsequently justifying personal misfortunes based on unawareness and bad luck is self-defeating stubbornness. The rigid stand strong; but they know when to bend, to defend themselves from breaking. Perfectionism is much coveted but seldom attained. When goals are not set right, they indeed cannot be accomplished spot on. Inflexibility is not a virtue…

Change: a problem or solution?

Change is an inevitable constant; revolution is the unwritten law and variation is the only indisputable surety. While at one end change is understood to be absolute and predictable; there is also constant bickering when it occurs. If only the mind, body, intellect; and each one’s environment changed in synchrony. Erraticism in the external world is condemned by all; even though eccentricities in one’s own behavior are estimated as defensible. Most of life’s inadequacies would seem fulfilled if one could welcome change: in oneself as well as the world around us…

Why behavior doesn't change

In spite of applying different reinforcers, offering attractive rewards, threatening with punishment and confiscating pleasures; behavior somehow doesn't budge. Children continue to misbehave, partners argue with each other, employees complain and maybe lose their jobs and delinquents incessantly break laws without fearing negative consequences. Life is not all science and math. Logic frequently fails and the world seems to be left in a sticky situation with regard to righteousness. Behavior is observable. Any behavior (by anybody) impacts the world around each one of them in some way or the other. No one thrives in a vacuum. The real world has genuine troubles, actual situations and factual problems; thus we need realistic solutions…

Reinforcer 4: Negative punishment

A conventional probability of defined outcomes raises the prospect of certain behaviors if there is a well-established contingency pattern between them. If you know that action A is going to root action B (which already is something you deeply desire) it’s natural for you to follow that particular behavior pattern. Behaviorism is a well-researched but quite a convoluted science. Nonetheless, its practical implications are as lucid as common sense. An action that brings favorable outcomes usually reinforces itself. And behaviors that need to be reinforced get implanted according to the strategies that have been used to cement them. There are several reasons why humans behave the way they do. These ought to be suitably understood to improve conduct. We know the 4 typical behavior modification paradigms:

• Action followed by reward should lead to repetition of that action
• Behavior succeeded by punishment must decrease its frequency
• Deeds that prevent negative consequences tend to get reinforced
• Actions that cease positive outcomes should diminish themselves

Although all seem to overlap, the context of using behavior modification in different situations affects the behavior change that occurs transiently or for evermore.

Reinforcer 3: Negative Reward

Some connects get stronger simply on account of the time that they have lasted. Habits are simply thoughts and behaviors that have persisted over time. Plasticity is a trait that is indeed innate to the brain cells; each one can change his or her behavior as and when they choose to. However more often than not, the mind gets accustomed to the inertia that sets in after incessant stagnation in thought and feeling. Reward and punishment enhance and diminish certain performances respectively; however the mind works analytically to alter behavior using alternate reinforces like negative reward too…

Reinforcer 2: Punishment

Behaviors require a powerful meshwork of reinforcement for them stand strong. Habits may be regarded as behaviors that have solidified over time with constant cementing; they seem rigid and unbreakable. Reinforcers are to be applied rightly to shape behavior appropriately. While reward may seem like the commonly applied reinforcer, punishment is more than often used in homes, schools, as well as society at large to terminate negative and ill behaviors.

Reinforcer 1: Reward

Behavior Change

Behavior demands contingency responses that strengthen or weaken its chances of repetition. Everything that a human does is typically expected to instigate reaction in another. These reactions themselves form the behavior of other individuals. The cycle pretty much continues until these behaviors of people begin to influence their emotions and thoughts. The chicken lays the egg and the egg hatches into yet another chicken. The child is the father of the man who gives birth to yet another child in time. Behaviors of people incessantly impel each other to change for better and occasionally worse too. The transformations need to be appropriate to match the interpersonal requirements in order for the outcome to be apt. Cement ought to be rightly applied, else it solidifies in erroneous positions; behavior can get wrongly reinforced with crooked outcomes.

Need to want to need...

Deficiency of a few things in life may cause severely negative outcomes: food, clothing, shelter, water, even love. These things are indispensable for subsistence and are categorized as ‘needs’. They are often subjective and felt differently by people. There is a frequent mix-up of needs and wants and the underlying emotional tone of needs and wants time and again adds to the confusion.

• I need to get through this exam
• I need to lose 5 kgs this month
• I need a new outfit for the prom
• I need this new job desperately
• I need to teach him a lesson
• I need to win the beauty contest

Needs have been a favored topic of discussion by philosophers, psychologists as well as politicians. Needless to say; everyone has needs!

Traditionalism...why?

One of the numerous challenges that faced man during evolution was the ability to curb his pleasure principle. It is what was meant to differentiate him from animals. That knack; to curtail what he truly feels, alter what he thinks and modify behavior to match the socially accepted norm. But then, man himself created society and its norms. No one knows whether the chicken came first or the egg; however it is well ascertained that humans gradually clogged their emotions, curbed their desires and altered their true personas to please one another, equal the medians, and become someone who was deemed ‘right’ by the rest. 

It's a new day!

There come those days when you fail to assess rightly who you truly are, why you actually exist and what indeed is the purpose of life. Self-esteem today has been added to the gamut of basic human needs. According to Maslow’s hierarchy, one cannot soar to the heights of actualization without fulfillment of the need for self-worth. Respect from the external environment as well as from within oneself seem imperative for serenity; however greater the focus on the self; higher are the chances of peace. The sun rises each day, deliberately and consistently; it offers its warmth and radiance with impartiality. Each one is offered equal opportunities; they simply choose to use them differently. That is what makes all the difference…

How gullible are you?

Vulnerability 

It’s a beautiful world we live in; yet it has its blemishes. Many love and regard unconditionally, while several are callous with the emotions of another. In a world that pronounces war (several times a day at times) one needs to have defenses set veraciously to cope with character attacks. No-one can stay shielded from criticism. Where there is a tongue there is speech and gossip. Feebleness has become an everyday defense for self-conservation by those who don’t have the courage in their conviction. It preserves the self but sacrifices respect. Vulnerability is the equipment to avoid antagonism from a hostile environment. There is transient suspension of one’s rationality and self-regard and in that time window, the wolves attack and overpower the barricades, allowing one to lose personal judgment and give in to the whims of others because there simply isn't any other path to yield.

• I am humiliated every day, but he’s my boss; he’s authority!
• I am overweight they will always ridicule me, I needn't fight back 
• I am overweight! My friends make fun of me, but I can’t do anything! 
• This is how it is for me; people will not change how they think about me!

Not so super…superstition

What we know
Science has attempted to offer elucidation of everything; the gender of an unborn child, estimate of earthquake strength, and prediction of hailstorms to prospects of success; it even explicates the rise of criminality based on statistical calculation. Events that inspire awe and amazement may arouse curiosity about their causality, and when it fails to surface, attributions that by pass science become rampant. When there is no physical process linking the cause an event, it classically qualifies superstition (according to the evolved lot of humans). When you know why it happens; its science, when you don’t, its superstition.

Why you are who you are

Innatism or empiricism
Individuals seek answers regarding their behavior when probed on their performance. Why they do what they do, how they are the way they are and what drove them to get where they did. Self-appraisal is a healthier option; nonetheless soul searching can be unquestionably instigated by the innate versus empirical debate when people are asked why they are who they are.

• How is it that you are so beautiful?
• Your aptitude puts all of us to shame!
• How did you get promoted so easily at work?
• How do you manage to excel in studies always?

Some evolve to where they do, others lag behind. Some turn into fashion models, others doctors, several into bartenders and numerous never get anywhere. The world has its share of endowment as well as botches. The search for etiology of talent or the lack of it has inspired several theories of human ability.

Need to cheat...

Competition if healthy is a promising driver. The brain is too accustomed to the impact of endorphins and dopamine that offer wellness. That’s why rewards are recompensing incentives. However, coveting a prize after hard work and dedication is the ingredient to success. Unlike cheating, which may be classified as a fancy, speedy and laidback trail to triumph. The world thrives on shortcuts while morality and honesty are nearing extinction. Rules broken by a cheater may be explicit or part of an unwritten code; in certain cases making cheating more of a subjective process with frequent justifications for committing them. Needless to say, cheating is immoral, unethical and inappropriate.

The bone of envy

This planet offers numerous reasons for unhappiness: wants, desires, expectations, impulsivity, greed, and dissatisfaction; however the most promising one that assures grief is envy. The potency of envy is tremendous. Resentment towards another owing to perception of lack of something that the other person possesses is hardly the emotion expected of an actualized soul. Envious people are not simply resentful within themselves; they wish to inflict adversity on the object of their envy. From a psychological standpoint, envy could be a tool for improvement and motivation; if only used constructively. Benign envy is an inspiring force…

The truth about lies

A deliberate statement, known by the speaker of it to not be the whole truth; is reasonably inexcusable. A lie may justify good in certain situations; however the nobleness and politeness of the lie still doesn't transform it into truth. The philosophy of lying has been well researched, varying views, diverse opinions and assorted arguments, all of which have dissected lies into justifiable versus unpardonable breaches of faith and trust; something that today’s sphere needs to thrive and survive.

Falling out of love

Creation always warrants time and sweat while destruction typically occurs in a jiffy. It takes 40 weeks for a fertilized ovum to transmute into a well differentiated human being; however life could end in moments if things went wrong. Annihilation is a rapid phenomenon. It takes prodigious determination to survive and thrive. Relationships are no different. They need consistent nurturance and replenishment of energies to sustain themselves. Else they dwindle like the candle in the wind and are burned out in no time…

Out of the box

Logic of logic

Logic and reasoning are mandatory for survival. Evolution claims even more. Soundness and rationality are the key ingredients for success. A blend of these enables appropriate judgment, facilitating personal and professional growth. Yet there are times when logic fails, rationality miscarries and prudence misses its mark. These do sound like catastrophic instants; yet there is hope. There emerges that spark of optimism and innovation that allows for solutions which invariably seem like they existed, but were casually overlooked. These are not casual; they supersede commonsense and logic. These involve out of the box thinking.  Lateral thinking will often produce solutions whereby the problem appears as "obvious" in hindsight

Music and the mind

“One good thing about music: when it hits you, you feel no pain.” 

Bob Marley

Music offers peace with the world as well as with oneself. It has the power to unshackle from anguish and distress. A tuneful soul gets contained with happiness. Music offers celebration as the dopamine rush in the brain contends serenity and gratification. Harmony in life and staying in tune with thoughts are all metaphorical interpretations of the significance of melody in existence. Pleasurable feelings associated with emotional music are the result of dopamine release in parts of the emotional brain: the same anatomical areas that underprop the pre-emptive and gratifying aspects of drug addiction. There is evidence of synchronous connects in the cardiac (heart) as well as cerebral (brain) functions that are influenced by sound waves of multiple wavelengths. Music affects us in ways we are reasonably unaware of…

True apology

The family

Midst near and dear ones (particularly family), emotional expressivity is painless.  The silly jokes, senseless laughter, baseless banter and nonsensical outbursts; all seem permissible. We can laugh, cry, vent, scream, shout, demand, summon and share; effortlessly. There is seldom room for judgment and discrimination. You can be “yourself”, with strengths and shortcomings put together. The bonds of blood allow what may seem deplorable elsewhere…

Shy? Am I?

If familiarity breeds contempt, and is considered pejorative; unfamiliarity sure does worse. It can build a sense of ineptness, diminish confidence and interfere with relationships. Shy personalities tend to internalize their problems, dwell on their worries and insecurities within instead of expressing their concerns to near and dear ones. Seeming unfriendly and inapproachable on the exterior, they suffer silently with self-brooding and inarticulacy; and predispose themselves to depression and anxiety. There is a diversity of moods and personas in this universe; each one is free to perceive as well as express what they feel, how they feel, whenever and however they feel it. The ones who don’t as much may be categorized as shy. However they never cease to really feel…

That positive thought: 2

The glass never seems to be filled enough. Quarter, half, three fourths; nothing suffices short of fullness to the brim. Negative thoughts seem to have command and control; they rule. Little does the defeatist know about the zest a positive thought can generate. The bicycle, aircraft, the climb to Everest, journey to the moon; all were considered irrational thoughts when they were conceived.. It took determination to believe they could transform to a beautiful and useful reality. The positive thought is characterized by:

Preparedness

Open-mindedness

Self-examination

Innovation

Transparency

Interest

Vigilance

Expressiveness

That positive thought: 1

Negative is included in the pretext of positive; else the impact of positive wouldn't seem affirmative enough. We were not born with negative beliefs or irrational expectations or cognitive distortions. In fact no one knowledgeably taught us any of those either. Somewhere along the way we lose perspective and start believing in the irrational. We either become unrealistically optimistic and we are let down (only to lose faith completely and get distrustful forever); or we simply never experience happy moments enough to believe that there is a sunnier side to things. Life originally is positive; the world fundamentally stifling. Thus negatives get added and seem to become elemental. These need to be unlearned and replaced with positive thoughts which comprise:

Preparedness

Open-mindedness

Self-examination

Innovation

Transparency

Interest

Vigilance

Expressiveness

That negative thought: 2

Thoughts impact emotion. Emotions affect reasoning. Reasoning reflects in words. Words influence behavior. Behavior makes a person. Thoughts have deep rooted connects and intense bearings on the life of those who think them. Affirmative thoughts generate fruitful consequences; they are effortful but they lead one towards happiness. Knowing the defenses that engender pessimism is the first step towards self-recognition and betterment. We know our negative thought is composed of:

Nihilism

Emotional reasoning

Generalization

All or none thinking

Twisting (reality)

Idealization

Vindication

Expectation

That negative thought: 1

Thoughts impact the way one feels: this is the fundamental supposition of human behavior. One needn't agonize about harmful thoughts if they didn't impact how one felt; and subsequently behaved in response to the downbeat emotion it generated. A spider crawling up your back does annoy; the natural emotion would be to have it off you. If that’s not a possibility; it would take remarkable tolerance to allow it to be there and be impassive about it. The best and most desirable option is of course to get rid of it. Needless to say, ridding the back of a spider is easier than expelling the unwanted thought from the psyche. The thought you don’t want, the one that irks, exasperates, and often devastates. The negative thought is composed of:

Nihilism

Emotional reasoning

Generalization

All or none thinking

Twisting (reality)

Idealization

Vindication

Expectation