Shy? Am I?

If familiarity breeds contempt, and is considered pejorative; unfamiliarity sure does worse. It can build a sense of ineptness, diminish confidence and interfere with relationships. Shy personalities tend to internalize their problems, dwell on their worries and insecurities within instead of expressing their concerns to near and dear ones. Seeming unfriendly and inapproachable on the exterior, they suffer silently with self-brooding and inarticulacy; and predispose themselves to depression and anxiety. There is a diversity of moods and personas in this universe; each one is free to perceive as well as express what they feel, how they feel, whenever and however they feel it. The ones who don’t as much may be categorized as shy. However they never cease to really feel…

Object of apprehension

There is seldom an explicit reason to be weary of situations or people. The fear of rejection distresses all humans. However, dwelling on falsely estimated refutation is not defensible. Shyness is a trait; a façade offered for self-preservation against destructive forces. The object of apprehension is usually the weakened introjected self. The process begins with the shy individual himself who has a dissatisfactory appraisal of personal abilities and performance. This prevents self-expression; failure of the same is adjudged as shyness by the world.

I think I’m shy

Anxiety is habitually misconstrued by bashful individuals themselves as shyness. They project personal judgments of themselves on those around them, these bounce back as presumed (but in their opinion: confirmed) negative appraisals which prevent expressivity, bar communication, hinder interaction and culminate as coyness. Those who define themselves as shy often worry about the discomfort they generate among those around them; this characteristically differentiates them from the ‘not shy’ ones. They ought to be contented with themselves in order to be comfortable with others and subsequently sense the coziness of their own presence in the gathering!

Introversion

Introversion may best be cognized as an emotional memory disorder. Persistent recollections of an occasional negative or unfortunate behavior get appraised and reappraised; while catastrophic thinking offers the penalty of negative self-view. This persists at a subconscious level with an emotional tone attached, prohibiting oneself from opening up because apparently there is no point in it.

• I am not a fun person to be around
• I will not be acknowledged by others
• They do not want to connect with me
• I will be imposing myself upon them
• I’d rather not speak and just be quiet

This thought process evokes coy mannerisms which further provoke a series of reactions in the environment. The vicious cycle continues and shyness becomes fixated as part of the persona; by the individual as well as people in that environ.

Getting comfortable

Situations do play a role in building or devastating comfort and confidence. It’s important to cherry-pick these opportunities wisely. When aware of one’s discomfort in social scenarios; it should be a willful struggle to build faith in the self and others by identifying the situations and people who assist the same. There is no pre requisite to please the entire ecosphere; you don’t own the problems of the world. The world can deal with its glitches if you pledge to deal with yours. Accept yourself, be proud of who you are. If nothing seems to raise the bar enough, know that you are unique; so are your successes and failures. Learn to forgive as well as accept yourself for who you are. If you don’t, no one else ever will…