Self Control (3)

Brain wiring

Resistance to impulse fulfillment can be attributed to specific areas of the human brain with alteration in neurochemical levels that promote (or when appropriate, protect from) rash decision-making. Broadly, the processing of thought and its systematization into rational evaluations is a knack known to few. Most act on gratifying impulses, failing to exercise any restraint on their needs and urges. It’s fun at times to make sudden plans and act on instinct in emotional situations if the outcomes are favorable. However normalcy is defined by the ability to be either impulsive or controlled depending on which is the most adaptive. Wise choices begin with an awareness of their existence.

Changing cues

Outcome focus

Nullification

Token economy

Remembrance

Overcooking

Loss identification

Remembrance

Memory of negative outcomes can be a good deterrent of impulsive behavior. No one is proud of his or her idiocy. An extreme of this negative memory can be seen in neurotic individuals where the embarrassment from previous situations may leave one anxious and depressed. However within normal realms, awareness of absurdity on account of impetuous action in the past can dissuade one from repeating it and alter one’s control switches.

• I’ve had jaundice before; I mustn’t drink socially either
• Sarcasm didn't work in that fight, I need to be calmer
• Anger always gets the worse of me I need to control it
• My road rage almost got me killed; I better manage it

Remember your mistakes; it’s the only way you can make it a point to not repeat them. Human ability to excel and decline is limitless; we can always make new mistakes; yet it is pardonable if we learn from them and use them to improvise and mend ourselves.

Overcooking

When the dish is overcooked it gets charred, meat gets stiff and vegetable get mushed. Its better to not give oneself a choice if the decision-making process is going to be hard and the time to make that selection is limited (which usually is the case in impulsive behavior responses). A loud and shrill alarm clock on the repeat mode placed in the other corner of the room tends to trouble you if it hasn't wakened you in the first go. The process of turning it off itself will awaken you. There are ways and means to make ourselves do the right thing if we really want them done.

• Taking medication that can make you sick when you drink
• Associating smoking with a visual image of burning lungs
• Seeing your company make losses because of your moods
• Overvaluing the price of breaking friendships due to anger

The impact of the lost self-control ought to be overcooked in the mind to negate its fun element. The gratification needs to be delayed so the monster is tamed.

Locus change

Self-control is an internal drive. As much as we decide to prize or punish ourselves for our behavior, the will to resist has to come from within. Reasons and attributions ought to be superior. Exercise is good, not just for worthy looks, but more importantly for healthy body. The true value of goodness needs to be known in order to be appreciated.

• Anger is an unconstructive emotion; I will refrain from it
• Smoking impacts my family, and me; I’d rather give it up
• Road rage is adverse; I will be more patient when I drive
• When I am calm I become the stronger person and I win

An external locus of control points to ‘determinism’ where fear of punishment determines behavior. It is a binding that is against one’s own plea. The internal locus exemplifies ‘free will’: the liberty to do what one wishes to, knowing that it is right and making the choice without external pressure. The best way to internalize self-control and live it is by making that choice.