Love thyself the most

loving yourself is an art that's very worthy of mastery

The defense called projection

People seem naïve but they indeed are well aware of their defects. Human beings see their own shortcomings in those around them. They pick on ill habits of others in spite of dwelling likewise in their own. Awareness is not even the need of the hour; it already exists. Acceptance and a will to change are the necessities. Projection involves throwing ones flaws on the world outside and seeing it as ‘bad’. The reverse, introjection; entails internalizing the goodness around and living to ones fullest, knowing that life is beautiful and we ourselves are worthy of love. 

Bad habits:  bettering them

Bad habits don't cultivate overnight. They don't vanish likewise either. The dynamics of accepting imperfections consciously and making amends are complicated. The mind plays its games before it decides on how it must think and react.

• Presence of a defect
• I understand this is a flaw
• I will change this imperfection
• I will try to be more respectable
• I will now become a better person
• I will admire myself for this change

Whenever there’s a flaw, the cognizant mind becomes aware of it. If it regards the flaw as a ‘flaw’, amends usually follow and transform behavior for the better.

Bad habits:  worsening them

There are other times when the mind is cognizant of the shortcoming but still fails to accept the defect gracefully. The acceptance is pushed into the subconscious and the conscious mind now disregards any shortcoming.

• Presence of a defect
• This is not a flaw in me
• I cannot have an imperfection
• I am just fine exactly the way I am
• The world can’t tell me what I must do
• I don't care if I get any respect for what I do

The bad gets vindicated and good is overpowered. This is how negative habits form, survive and thrive. Truly, such people do not respect or love themselves for who they are. They pretty much loathe themselves for their character. Self-centeredness prevails and self-esteem is shattered. A false façade comes to play and it rules.

Breaking bad

Love for oneself comes from loving the world; so also vice versa. Good begets good. Respect and reverence are contagious. When you regard others for their virtues, you internalize them and become a better human being.  When you let people be who they are, you accept yourself for who you are (once again within limits of morality and rectitude).

• The more you judge others, the worse you see yourself
• More you forgive people, better you accept yourself too
• More you listen, greater you respond to your inner voice
• Lesser excuses you make, greater are your achievements
• Healthier your choice, harder it is, but better the outcome

Make the right choice

Fear is the worst driver of behavior. It allows for fabricated endeavors, deceitful attempts and halfhearted effort. The goal is not to run away from the starting point, it is to enjoy the run and reach the end point eventually. Heading towards success and fleeing from failure are synonymous in syntax; they’re quite different in reality. The ‘want for furtherance’ is better than ‘fear of rejection’. When you choose the right path, you respect those on it and most of all you begin to love yourself for who you are from within. Be that person you always envied, revered, regarded and coveted to be. Be who you really are. Value what is around; you will soon become the worth you offer to the sphere.