Do you even have a path?
Finding a path is hard enough, being sure it is the right one can be quite daunting. It’s astonishing how frequently deluded souls expect results without having any direction at all.
Lady 1: “I have to lose 10 kilos and look really slim on my 10th anniversary party.”
Lady 2: “Really? How are you going to lose weight? Have you planned anything?”
Lady 1: “Not yet but I have to! I’m stressed I really have to lose 10 kilos somehow!”
Well one can exercise, maintain diet charts, carry out yoga or aerobics sessions; that would be logical, simple and the best way to lose weight. However the path in this case doesn’t seem well defined. If the goal to shed the extra inches is intense, one may go on a crash diet, starve their way through to initiate a fatal catabolism and lose weight dramatically (soon enough). Losing weight is not an unfeasible task; however an accurate, healthy, well accepted strategy is imperative to accomplish that goal.
What’s right
Life, happiness, success, peace; all are a matter of perspective. Right and wrong then become subjective descriptions of action. A comfortable path that allows for self-expression and personal growth is reasonably apposite to attain goals. The healthy perfectionist seeks to reach higher (so does the unhealthy one) but perspectives are different. Healthy perfectionism always leads to favorable and positive outcomes. There is high level of self-focus (in a selfless manner) that enhances personal ability as well as has positive impacts on others. Such goal paths lead to self improvement while excellence comes to as a by product (as if there was no struggle for it)
What’s not right
There are people who try heading towards the finishing line (just like their healthy counterparts) while the race is on. However the healthy perfectionist is running because it’s healthy to run a race. He sees the finishing line and keeps focus on it. The unhealthy perfectionist keeps turning backward to make sure he’s right ahead with a good lead and that others are not too close behind him. The stress and worry in such a person’s mind is enormous. It leads to fatigue and anxiety. The itch: ‘What if I don't win? What if I can’t accomplish my goal?’ Their thought process leads to anxiety buildup and the focus shifts on inability instead of the goal itself.
Individuality
Just as no 2 fingerprints match, everyone has diverse motives behind their goals. If you know why you’re doing something, chances are higher that you will identify appropriate direction to accomplish it. Comparison leads to anxiety. Slight anxiety and restlessness often enhances performance (eustress). However in excess it quantifies as distress. There are no external evaluations. An internal locus allows you to choose for yourself, along with taking responsibility for your choice.
Don’t beat yourself to death
Goal obsession is not a sin. However rigidity in thinking disallows laterality and hinders creativity. Unless you think out of the box you will be enclosed within it and miss the opportunities to identify newer solutions to the good old problems. The pursuit of dreams itself should not become a nightmare. Chasing the spotlight can get tiring. Performing your best allows the spotlight to follow you effortlessly. Unrealistic expectations precede emotional letdowns. We’re human and the earth always takes 24 hours for a rotation. There are 60 minutes to an hour and time doesn’t halt even when the clock is at standstill. There is no point in pushing oneself to burnout. No goal is worth losing yourself in its pursuit.
Make mistakes (only once)
Fools make mistakes but bigger fools repeat them. Maintaining a check list of goal breakers allows for strategic planning and re-planning to follow ways that don’t fail. They may not guarantee success but they should not be well known to fail. There are no penalty shots that give you a lead to score. One cannot be at the summit within minutes of the climb. Positive imagery for adding zest and fervor to the journey is essential. Success isn't a counterpart of instant food; it seldom appears out of nothingness. Mistakes teach you ways that must be avoided so you may reach where you must, fastest.
It’s a real world
It’s really not a thin line between dreaming and achieving. It’s a long road. And once accomplished, it’s not the goal that matters; it’s the journey that got you there. It is what teaches, seasons and refines. Dream big, aim high and toil hard to get where you must. But there are no long jumps here. Slow and steady not only survives, it thrives. You just need to keep moving. Goal setting and the path to achieving is a learning process. Set the right goals and watch your dreams come true!
- Set them right
- Never cease to fight
- And put in all your might
With contributions by Ms.Nikita Vyas
Psychology Intern at MINDFRAMES
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