Loss of a loved one

'Some people make the world special by just being in it'

You remember in childhood how hard you cried when your friend moved away to another part of the city? Or when your favorite barbie was lost? Or the best toy car in the world that you had was shattered to pieces when it fell from the window? Loss is inevitable. We are all so attached to so many things around us. And imagine: THINGS that we lose bring tears to our eye, what can we say of PEOPLE? Loved ones; friends, family members, relatives, neighbors even acquaintances who we thought were unimportant to us can sometimes have such a deep impact on our lives, that surviving without them seems impossible. Their presence, in any part of the world, in any state, is acceptable to us and makes us happy. That is how the human heart and mind are tuned to love and want.

Eternity is the ever desired but never attained dream...

How we react to loss?

Grief in response to loss is perfectly normal. It is normal to cry, feel sad, depressed, alone, betrayed, angry, upset and even hateful at times to the person who went away from you. Sometimes you feel like looking at the image or belongings of the person you lost, at times you want to avoid it. You may even bounce between varying emotions and you surprise yourself with your mood swings and tantrums. All you need to do is accept that this is normal and take it in your stride.

Accept reality

You have to be absolutely strong and rational to deal with the truth that faces you when you lose someone very dear to you. Understand the circumstances and the situations that took place around the loss. You need to somehow believe that it happened, because it really did. Do not tell yourself anything, which you very well know is not true. Don’t appease yourself with false beliefs that are not in keeping with reality. Be honest with yourself. What happened; has happened. There don’t have to be explanations for everything that ensues. Some thing’s are beyond your own control. Such situations in fact make you realize that you are human because you feel so strongly and have never even fathomed that this is how you were capable of feeling for someone.

Work through the pain

You must allow yourself to feel the pain, and then take positive steps to heal it. The pain is real because your love and your attachment were real. It’s perfectly alright to cry if you feel like. As much as you want is acceptable. You must learn to let yourself loose. You don’t have to be the strongest. You have to only be honest with yourself and express what you feel from within. So deal with your emotions appropriately. You have to be kind to yourself. If it’s going to be hard, so be it, you will have to come out strong.

Adapt

Adjust to the environment which really is the same, yet not the same. Your loved one had a special place in your heart and in your family. They can never be replaced by another. But you will have to adjust to their absence. This process might involve finding new ways of interacting with your other family members and friends. You must cherish every one you know because no one is going to be with you forever. Cherish and relish them and respect them for who they are. It can change your perspective towards everyone you know (for the better!)

Love all over again

People are not replaceable but when they go away they do not leave you empty. They leave your hearts full and heavy. You should remember that you still have love and care to offer to so many others. Don’t deprive them of their share. Always allow yourself to further your relationships with others. It does not mean that you care any less about your loved one or that you will not keep your special memories. You will always treasure those but you will continue to gather more flowers in your path of life because life has to go on.

Keep the faith

Losing someone who meant a lot to you can shake some very fundamental beliefs in you. You feel cheated or scared or apprehensive and sometimes very anxious about your own life ahead. You may begin to doubt goodness and think that death is a deserved punishment and it sets you wondering on how and why your loved one passed away. You need to believe in goodness and wellness. So you must be good to everyone you know and keep bitterness and resentment out.

Believe in the strength of your wings

A tired bird was resting on a branch for support. It enjoyed the view from the branch and the safety it offered from dangerous animals. Just as it had become used to that branch and the support and safety that it offered, a strong wind started blowing and the branch started swaying back and forth, with such great intensity, that it seemed that it was going to break. But the bird was not in the least worried for it knew two important truths. The first: even without the branch it was able to fly and thus remain safe through the power of its own wings. The second: there are many other branches upon which it can temporarily rest. Life offers you many branches to rest upon. Yes the trunk is extremely important and your main big branches are always going to be the most important and supportive ones. But you must have the ability to fly and attain the heights that you were created for. Do not lose yourself. In fact these are the very opportunities that help you find your real self...