Don't let your crush 'crush' you!

When we say man is a social animal, in the real sense of the word; yes we are all animals. It would be inappropriate to deny the fact that we all have urges and needs and our own individual desires; which in many cases may be dark, hidden and unexpressed for our entire lifetime. Animals have instincts. And man is as animal as he can be. The difference is that he has the power to control urges when he feels it is appropriate to do so. But he does feel the urge as much as he may try hard to mask its expression. Human beings are all about sensuality and sexuality. Having a ‘crush’ is so normal; its just like breathing. And the more we run away from it, the more the idea continues to irk in the darkness of our mind’s closet. The more open we are about it and deal with it maturely; the better we are able to manage our emotions and make our lives fulfilling with our interactions with people around us.

So what is a crush really?

When we use the term crush we seldom use it in its right context. We associate it with guilt, like something we are NOT supposed to actually be feeling because it is something that embarrasses us. In reality, a crush refers to a semi-intense level of attraction which is associated with a sense of restlessness and desire to get closer to your ‘crush’. As a rule, crushes are one sided; if they were both sided it would qualify as a relationship.  Usually it’s associated with definite craving to be physically in the vicinity of the person, smile and blush at the mention or thought of that person;  and perform any action that will get attention from the ‘crush’  (the smallest sign will also work wonders!)

What’s the point about crushes?

At a younger age, a crush is expressing your sensuality and your desire to reach out to, as well as get the attention of prospective relationship partners. At a later age crush is almost used as a word to express that you are still ‘young at heart’ and you have the ability to have sensual desires even at that age. Crushes are innocent attractions and you should not be uncomfortable about them. You need to realize they are normal feelings but you must also learn to deal with them ‘normally’. The object of your crush may most likely be out of reach (like a celebrity crush you may have) or unavailable (already committed to someone else) or simply uninterested in you (people have a right to make their own choices, don't they?)

Do something about your crush!

If you have the conviction, tell the person what you feel about them; but remember to keep your self-regard in place. The crush may just lead to a fruitful relationship if you try hard to know the other person and allow for self-disclosure at the same time. Crushes usually qualify as a lesser level of intensity in relationships because they happen too fast and do not have mellow understandings based on reason. But that is the same case with love! You cannot have valid rational relationships without taking the blind plunge at times so feel free to give direction to your emotions. ). Maturity lies in accepting reality, seeing if things go your way; but if not, moving on, away from the path that was not carved out for you.

Place yourself above all

Your crush brings a smile on your face but you do know that it brings tears when you realize that your goal is thwarted and your crush is not interested in you. You must always remember that no one in this world is more precious to you than yourself. It is very important to keep your self-respect high and move on once you know the likely reality.

Build on your emotional quotient

Learn to identify your emotions and build upon your emotional quotient so you accept yourself in a non-judgmental fashion and don’t punish yourself at the cost of another. If its not meant to happen it will not happen. You need to appreciate reality for what it is.

Look at the brighter side

When you have a crush, it excites you, stimulates you and pushes you to betterment. You want to look attractive, smell good, talk smart, act impressive and be at your best for your ‘crush’. Now just twist the situation for a moment and do these things ‘generally’ instead of doing them for ‘someone’. The crush should make you realize that you can look and smell and be worthy of notice anyways! So look at the brighter side and work towards self-improvement.

Build your life right

Your life is about you and what makes you happy (within normal social limits that is and not at the cost of others happiness of course!). Be with people who love you and appreciate you for who you are. It’s a huge world and you have the choice: to seek the care and concern of those who love you versus the indifference and disinterest of those who don’t.  Make the right choice: after all YOU matter!