Help I don't have any friends!

The age old saying we all have heard goes…The best way to find a friend…is to be one…In fact we can modify it and say that the ONLY way to find a friend is to be one! Friendship is not an abstract term for which offer a hundred definitions in order to understand and explain what it really means. Friendship is lived. There are no two friends who have the same emotions and feelings towards each other as two other friends may have. Friendship is a bond, interestingly unique to those who share it. It’s a bond that one arrives at not even realizing how and where it came from, yet seems to be eternal and timeless.

Why have friends? Being alone has its own advantages! No?

There's a certain beauty in being a loner too. You have time to do the things you want to do, you can take long introspective walks, read books, write, paint and engage yourself in other solitary endeavors that are independent of others. But if you wish to reach out, remember it’s NEVER impossible. There are always literally billions of potential friends in the world. What's more, many of these people want to make new friends just as much as you do!

Be more social

Friends don’t come knocking on your door while you sit at home playing computer games or watching your favorite television shows. You must list out the things you like to do and try finding avenues where, through your likes, you can meet people. The idea is not to find people with common likes…it is just to find people. A local gym, a dance class, a music choir, a sports ground, a club, a voluntary non profit organization, maybe even a temple or a church can get you introduced to people if you at least step into these places and look out for them! Social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, My Space, Yahoo Pulse, and Google Buzz are great ways to meet new people and initiate friendships. But remember, it’s not the number of friends that are important. It’s the quality of your friendship. So focus on the strength of that bond, not the number of bonds that you are developing. Also, remember to not be too picky. Most conversations may be a dead-end, and you may never talk to that person again, or you just remain acquaintances--but once in a while you'll actually make a good friend.

Be Funny and be Fun!

Are you funny? Humour is the key to breaking inhibitions even amongst the most reserved people. Always keeps conversation light and happy, everyone wants to be around someone who makes them laugh. Remember to laugh with your friends, not at them. If you have a quirky, different style of humour then make sure you let them know that the things you say are in fact a joke, so that you don't just come across as simply weird or pulling a fast one on your friends. This way your friends will begin to understand your personality better too and will build their interest in you because you are simply…different.

Be Reliable.

Friendship is about being there for people when they need you. It is a mutual symbiotic relationship. Once you have started spending time with people who you think may be your close friends, you should be available in their times of need so they know you will be there for them too. Keep egos low, be kind, be considerate, be polite, give more, expect less and do not be rude. When you say you'll do something, do it. Be someone that people know that they can count on.

Be Interested

One of the best things about having a friend is to have someone to whom you can talk about anything because they actually want to listen to you. There is no boredom involved and no formalities either. It’s important to be interested (in them) as well as interesting (for them). Listen to and feel free to disclose secrets that you hide from the rest of the world. You must be a good confidante and have the knack to keep secrets, as well as the confidence to share them. Before people feel comfortable opening up to you, you need to build trust and interest.

Be Enthusiastic

You definitely need the ability to show that you're interested in others. Listen eagerly to what people say, remember important details about them (their names, their likes and dislikes), ask questions about their interests, and just take the time to learn more about them. You don't need to always talk about your story. Have the agility to listen to theirs. You cannot be self focused always, if you want to be a good friend.

Be Nice

Once you've started hanging out with potential friends, remember to do your part (initiate some of the activities, remember their birthdays, ask how the other person is feeling) or else the friendship will become unbalanced and an uneasiness or distance is likely to arise. Friends are about fun yes, but they are also about affection, care and concern; so be nice.

Be Dependable

There are a whole bunch of friends who are together for partying and movies and dinners…all the time when things are going well. They are nowhere to be found when you really need them. Part of being a friend is being responsible for your buddies and to make sacrifices of your time and energy in order to help them out if and when needed. If a friend needs a shoulder to cry on, you have to be there and be dependable for them to make them feel better. You must be honest, don't gossip and never spread rumors.

Be Sensible

Some people are easier to get along with than others. Do not be obsessively needy or controlling towards your friends, and see that they are not like that with you either. Friendship is not about selfishness but it is about mutual symbiosis for sure. So be careful in selecting your friends. Do not fall prey to wrong company just because you need a friend. Keep your sensibility and self respect high because you matter the most to yourself. Cherish those friends you make who are a positive influence in your life, and do your best to be a positive influence in theirs.

Lets be friends! Let’s be:

F  unny

R esponsible
I  nterested
E nthusiastic
N ice
D ependable
S ensible