Imperfect Perfectionism

Yes that’s just perfect. The food tastes perfect, the presentation seems perfect, the outfit looks perfect, I took my medicines and now I feel perfect. So much that we find perfect in this world and a lot more that we find inadequate; that gives us reason to nitpick. There is very little in this sphere that is flawless and impeccable. Seeing the good in others is desirable and it helps us build better relationships. It offers less dissatisfaction and more contentment. But more often than not, it’s not the negative outlook of others that troubles. It’s the over analytical outlook towards your own self. The desire fro perfectionism that is ‘ideal’ but not ‘attainable’.

Truths about you

see it!

Who knows you better than you know yourself? After all we are who we are right? We make and break ourselves. We create our own opportunities. We pass and we fail and it’s all in our own hands isn’t it? Well to a very large extent your individuality is discrete and hence unique to you. You know your strengths more than anyone else does. And you have your limitations, which the world may be completely oblivious to because you never expressed them so no one knew. You are your best friend and worst critic. Yet there are few things about you, that maybe you sometimes misapprehend. Things you must know. The truths about yourself…

Half empty? Half full? Fully half?

half yet full?

Optimism itself seems ironical. You have to be highly optimistic to even talk of optimism these days. Most of us are pessimistic about optimism! The world is not perfect and that’s a harsh reality. It’s not so easy to believe that faith is all you need; and that:

This will work out for the best…

It will surely get better…

It’s going to go well…

It’s just fine…

It’s OK…

It’s not always OK. But we have to make it ok. The glass has water to 50% of its optimum capacity. So really is it half empty, or half full, or fully half?

Who are you?

that's really a puzzle!

Seriously if we had to think hard and answer this question, 'Who are you?'. Really, 'Who am I?' How whopping do we all think we are these days? Well self-esteem is great to have but its intriguing; what gives us the arrogance and brashness that we habitually bare to the rest of the sphere? What happened to modesty and unpretentiousness? Where’s that art of being selfless and benevolent while simultaneously working towards higher goals and meeting greater targets incessantly (that’s should be routine anyways). To keep that head on those shoulders and those feet on the ground. Honestly, who do you think you are?

What time is it?

how much time?

No...

Not now...

It’s too early…

I'm not just ready…

I haven’t completed it yet…

I’m not primed to start as of now…

I haven’t made up my mind about this…

I’m still thinking and I guess I may decide soon…

Procrastinate, postpone, delay and then again adjourne. It just seems like it’s never the right time is it? Never right enough to start your diet or exercise, never good enough time to clean your desk, or remove those 45 icons from your desktop even though they can be sorted in a jiffy, certainly not time enough to show affection to your partner or to break that cord when the relationship is already in shambles, time to have kids, time to read stories to them, time to speak the truth, time to own up, time to apologize. Seriously if not for all this, what do you think you have the time for right now?

What’s your problem?

Seriously, what is your problem? This question is not tinted with sarcasm or contempt. Not probing here to mock or ridicule you. Not questioning to demean or belittle you. But to sincerely know, do you really think you have a problem? Problem is such a small 7-letter word but in reality its bulk topples our lives when we face one. And then most of us face so many at a given point in time! We talk of big problems, small problems; little problems, mild problems, serious problems, minor problems, major problems, petty problems, old problems, new problems; you and I keep saying this all the time. We always seem to be having some or the other problem some or all of the time!

How often have you failed?

Never? What a pity! You missed on all those likelihoods of learning something new. You lost out on those opportunities that would have taught you the realities of life the harder way. You skipped the prospects of eclectic absorption that would lead you to prudence. You just did not get the chance to experientially know the ways that ‘don't’ work, before you learnt those that 'do'. Maybe you just turned out lucky and destiny lead you to the sweet of success. Maybe you really knew the way to get to the top (that's very credible). Things turned out great, yet they probably shaped up to be conventional; that gamble which leads us to see out of that box just got evaded…

Have you been up there?

Just high enough to get that perfect view from the window seat when you fly on that aircraft? When the buildings were taller than you, and then they gradually seem smaller, and the within fractions of minutes they look tiny; almost unreal, like those models you’ve seen made by architects? They actually seem to be made of styrofoam and cardboard, trees made of colored sponge stuck on sticks. The whole town looks like a miniature project we often made in our schools when we were young. And then suddenly as we cruise to greater heights, it all becomes a haze. And you don't see it anymore…

the world seems so different from above... doesn't it?

Have you lost it? Or do you still have it?

Well there’s so much that we are attached to in this world, and we feel we possess, so this question can have a pretty speckled answer. There are numerous things we feel we should retain to ease our existence. Things that seem fundamental to us. Things that are indispensable for us. And then, in reality, some of these things include those we are not even be aware of. We fail to realize that we are chasing objects that are not essential for subsistence; while we have lost the pearls that are imperative for happiness and contentment. Common nouns and proper nouns have taken precedence over abstract nouns...

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

mirror me right

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?
That’s where most of the answers to life’s queries are. In that mirror on that wall. We all have that mirror. We all definitely question it each time we look into it. The mirror tells you what’s going wrong in your world. The mirror reflects right back at you, all the things that you have offered to the sphere. If only we really knew what to seek when we looked within that mercury-coated sheet of glass. If only we knew how to look beneath the surface and truly ask who's fair and who's not, who's right and who's not, who made it and who didn't...

Control the world around you

switch on switch off that's it?

So there IS that button that switches things on and off the way you want it? It really IS that easy to have your way with others? To make them treat you right. But the catch is that you have to do the right thing. That's when the right thing bounces back at you. This is not the era of dictatorship. Your children, your husband or wife, your employees, even your maidservant; no one takes autocracy well these days.  It’s not governance. And then look at the parliament house: not like there’s a lot of respect these days even for leaders…So how do we get that sense of control over people who really need to be under our control?

I’m OK, are you OK?

Yes these are such simple words and they make a tremendous difference in the lives of those around us. But besides at the face of it asking if someone is OK, we’re talking about positions we place ourselves in life. We create our  happiness, sadness, troubles, joys, pleasures, pain, profits, losses, make-ups and breakups too. We need to understand, appreciate and analyze the quantum of the impact we have on the world: for better or worse; for others and for us. Once you know your own power you can use it a lot better. To the advantage of yourself and those who matter to you. You want to be in the 'good' position always, you just fail to know how to get there...

Making love out of nothing at all

Beautiful and lucid as put forth by Jim Steinman in Air Supply’s famous song:

‘I know the roads to riches, 

I know the ways to pain,

I know all the rules and then I know how to break them, 
And then I always know the name of the game’
But is it really that lucid? Can we really make love out of nothing at all?

it's never nothing

How sleep hygienic are you?

On an average, ordinary human beings sleep 8 hours a day; that’s one third of their lives! So if you are 30 you have slept for 10 years already! And if you live 30 more you are going to sleep for 10 more for sure. (at least you need to). Now that’s a long time so we ought to use that time rightly. If we are alive we should live right. And if we need to spend this big chunk of time sleeping then we ought to sleep right. We try to be as hygienic as possible generally in life. Personal hygiene, environment, food; everything gets its due share of our attention. But sleep? Are we even aware of sleep hygiene?

dreaming of sound sleep

How do you do? (in your relationship)

My partner is the best!

Now is that something you find yourself thinking aloud when you see him or her after a long hard day at work? Is that roughly what is running through your mind and felt straight from the heart when someone talks about your partner? Do you feel this emotion every once in a while? Or then, when you hear these words spoken by someone else what really runs through your mind? That’s pretty unrealistic, or this one seems to be really lucky, or maybe he is just saying it; he doesn't really seem that happy and satisfied with his love life…

Do you have ADHD? If not then go get it!

Yes this is the same ADHD i.e. is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder that are parents fret their children may have. It is not fun at all to not be able to focus, to be thoroughly distracted  jump from one task to the other and not accomplish anything of worth; while the rest of the world moves ahead of us because they were absorbed in their task and knew where they wanted to be. Yes we’re not speaking of exactly the same thing. But the hyperactive component of the ADHD if rightly channelized by us in adulthood can be used to our advantage if we only know how to make good use of it at the precise moments in our lives…

Do you mind?

Like really, do you mind?

Well the question here is do you really mind your mind? Do you really watch your psychological wellness as much as you caution for your body? That trivial increase in your body weight, that little pimple, the slight headache; the tweezy stomach; all get your attention at once. You leave no stone unturned; no time, effort or money seems too much to know whether your body is doing fine or not.

And what about giving cognizance to your mind?

• Do you realize you’re more on the edge these days?
• Do you see that you are not in your best elements off late?
• Do you notice that you’re losing your cool more often than before?
• Did you even know that your smile has lost its luster and you’re not really fine?

Do you have the PIG?

i'm cute but you shouldn't have me

No we’re not talking of a pets or non-vegetarian diets here. We’re talking of your uncontrollable, irresistible impulses, which are so vehemently out of your power that it becomes terribly agonizing for you to delay giving into them. The PIG represents your inability to curb that restlessness that arises when something refuses to go your way. It signifies your explosive reaction to rejection or refutation, and your helplessness before your own self. In many ways the PIG is really what differentiates human kind from the animal kind. Yes the PIG is the PROBLEM of IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION…

Examination stress

We hardly ever are apprehensive or worried about things which are of no consequence to us. When we do have something at stake, we worry; we anticipate, we try and predict (sometimes positively; at others, negatively) and we embark on a wonder trip about the results more than the process. This is the point where we get hit by the enormous, dangerous, destructive, yet elusive iceberg of stress!

Respect thy teacher

Teachers are facilitators of education. They impart a part of themselves: i.e. the knowledge that they have imbibed over several years of learning as well as training; to another (their student) so that he or she may have better intellectual development, better productivity, and eventually, a better life. Teachers are like potters on the wheel, molding and shaping the children in different dimensions and contours and varieties of existence, to develop and create a piece of work, hopefully a masterpiece; in the future!

Love thy sibling

Siblings are a boon for those who have (even one). Nonetheless, family structures have changed over the decades; family ties have weakened; and with modernization and rebuilding of family units, single children have almost become a norm. Single children truly miss out on the pleasure of the company a sibling. The camaraderie that siblings share during their formative years; can be the building block of relationships in the future. In adolescent years siblings can be the best of friends and support systems for each other. Yet, there are always two sides to a coin and one has to fear the negatives too. At times those who don’t have a sibling may be glad because they do not have to face the demon of sibling rivalry!

Express your feelings

Feelings are important!

A volcano is not something any of us find pleasant when it erupts. But then, that’s how volcanoes just are supposed to be. And the longer they are dormant (or rather seem dormant to you!) They more they are simmering and brewing their lava inside: only to erupt stronger and destroy harder when they do. Feelings (positive as well as negative) are best when expressed suitably. If you want to take control over your emotional life and become more rationally emotive, you need to learn how to express your feelings well. Feelings make or break you. They personify you, epitomize you, and exemplify you. You are human because you feel and you know how to express it...

Is that right?

When was the last time you stopped and vacillated on something? On the lines of:

I’ll do it but this is probably not the right time...

I’ll consider it but this is possibly not the right choice...

He/she is nice but perhaps this is not the right match for me...

What’s your driver?

Just when you felt your breath fading...

Just when you sensed your heart sinking...

Right when you knew you hope was dwindling…

Precisely the moment when you thought it was the end...

Quite indeed the time you thought you could take it no more...

Something strange happened and changed it all? You felt that boost of energy and you realized that there is a divine intervention? You identified that there was a way out and you moved yourself towards it? Or someone came along and inspired you to do what you always were capable of doing, but you just didn't know you could?

Who is your role model?

True role models are those who possess the qualities that we would like to have and those who have affected us in a way that makes us want to be better people. A role model helps you to advocate for yourself and your goals, and take leadership on the issues that you believe in. We often don't recognize our true role models until we have noticed our own personal growth and progress which we have gained after looking up to someone we respected and admired all along; and imbibed positive traits from that person, that led us to the path of our success.