Push yourself...

Trial may lead to error. And yet at times you see that another trial leads you to success. The difference always lies in the way you push yourself to try harder each time. There surely is something that pushes you up, higher and higher, out of the dumps, up to the baseline, then above it; and eventually to the sky. The key to every lock that seals your mind and curbs its tremendous potential is motivation.

Expectations vs. reality

The world thrives on expectations...

Imagine a routine day in your life. You wake up and are getting dressed for your school or college or work. You expect a healthy breakfast on your table (your mom cares for your health after all) a bus or a taxi that can take you to where you have to be (you hope there’s no traffic on the road as you don’t want to be late), a smile from your peers (they’re your bets friends after all) a pat on your back from your teacher (for doing your homework well in time) a reward from your parents (for being such an obedient child), a gift on your birthday (its your special day after all), patience and understanding from your boyfriend or girlfriend (they’re your partners they ought to understand you right?), a raise and heavy bonus (because you worked so hard this year), absence of pain and disease in your body (because you eat well and exercise regularly), a long, healthy and happy life…

Now who doesn’t expect that?

Are we realistic enough?

Why does everyone tease me?

Do we really know ‘when’ we are being bullied?

Do we even know ‘why’ we are bullied?

Do we even realize what’s going on?

You probably don't really know why you are being bullied. You may think you know, but you don't really know. If you think it’s because you are short or fat or dark or ugly; you are wrong. If you think it’s your dressing style or your spectacles or the way your mother talks; you are wrong again. If you knew why you are bullied, you wouldn't be a bullying victim.  Maybe you are really fat and maybe you do have thick glasses and maybe your mother is actually overweight. But you must know that every fat person in the world does not get bullied, everyone with thick glasses is not scape-goated, and many people have mothers, who are overweight, but they all don’t get teased; why is it just you?

Because you invite it!

Being original

What if everyone in the world was exactly alike? What if everyone talked the same, acted the same, looked the same, listened to the same music and watched the same TV programs? The world would be extremely dull with no excitement, no discussions, no viewpoints expressed and nothing new learnt! The beauty of the rainbow comes from its contrasting colors. Differences add spice to life and offer meaning to existence...

Thank God for differences!

Don't gossip!

All of us are worried about how ‘good’ we are. How ‘well known’ we are among our peers. The ‘impression’ that others hold of us. How much we ‘know’ and ‘where in society’ we stand. It’s the good old insecurity of the human mind: placing our worth on the views that others hold of us. And often we engage in right or wrong activities because we don’t know the difference. We want to know everything to keep ‘up-to-date’ with the environment.

Kids: When your parents argue

Arguments are an expression of your own viewpoint. Everyone likes to have their voice heard. Including you right? Haven’t you argued with your friends over where to go for lunch? Or what movie to watch today? Or which subject to study together? So much so, you must be arguing with your parents too on what you should wear to a party or how much pocket money you should be getting, or how much time you should spare for your studies, your curfew time etc…

Teens: Time is money, spend it wisely...

The clock is ticking. There’s no clock that ticks backwards. There is one earth (the one we live on) and it rotates on its axis in exactly 24 hours, no matter what. Weeks usually have 7 days, years have 52 weeks, and besides the leap year, we celebrate our birthday every 365 days. We grow older with every minute of our existence and we have to achieve so much in this little life of ours; there’s just never time for anything…

Loss of a loved one

'Some people make the world special by just being in it'

You remember in childhood how hard you cried when your friend moved away to another part of the city? Or when your favorite barbie was lost? Or the best toy car in the world that you had was shattered to pieces when it fell from the window? Loss is inevitable. We are all so attached to so many things around us. And imagine: THINGS that we lose bring tears to our eye, what can we say of PEOPLE? Loved ones; friends, family members, relatives, neighbors even acquaintances who we thought were unimportant to us can sometimes have such a deep impact on our lives, that surviving without them seems impossible. Their presence, in any part of the world, in any state, is acceptable to us and makes us happy. That is how the human heart and mind are tuned to love and want.

Eternity is the ever desired but never attained dream...

Teens: That’s what friends are for!

Teenage and stress?

Stress is a part of every living creature’s existence. Everyday, every moment of our lives we face numerous challenging situations. Everyone is entitled to bad days and waving moods but its important to know when they are worse than the normal limits. Teenage is known to be the period of tumult and turmoil and it takes intense psychological defenses to safeguard oneself and stand strong amidst the storm.

It's OK to disagree: Just do it with respect

Who ‘likes’ to be told that we are not doing the right thing?

Who enjoys being opposed in decisions we are capable of making?

Who wants to be ‘sermonized’ about what is appropriate and what’s not?

Surely nobody!

We are all extremely intelligent and well read today and we all have our own points of view. It becomes very difficult to accept those of another. This is one of the principal reasons why we see arguments in the parliament, corporate offices, bedrooms, colleges, schools and homes! Everyone wants to do their own thing; but it doesn't end there; everyone wants others also to do what they want to do themselves!

Attention Teens: Face rejection bravely!

Walt Disney was rejected for a newspaper cartoonist job because apparently he had no talent…
Thomas Edison was disregarded because of 10,000 failures in his process of making the light bulb… 
Einstein had no choice when he was suspended from his school because he was considered to be ‘retarded’; they didn’t want such a dull child in their school…
If they had let rejection and failure affect them; there would not have been mickey mouse or a light bulb or an understanding of the theory of relativity. With every rejection comes a greater endeavor at success; to those who believe in themselves...

Teen Crisis: My parents embarrass me!

Hey mom you have no idea what’s ‘cool’ so don’t tell me how to behave in public

Dad you belong to a different era. Who dresses like that nowadays?

I don’t want you to be home when my friends come over…just let us be by ourselves

Don’t hold my hand while crossing the road, I know how to cross the road myself!

Whatever happened to wanting your parents to be with you like you used to in childhood? Mom don’t leave me alone, daddy come with me to my school please, dad I think you are cool I want to be like you, mommy come with me to my friends birthday…

Today the same parents embarrass you?

Get confident!

People only think about you what you think about yourself...
Each of us was created with a purpose, for a reason. All of us were born with something that's exclusive to us. There is always a trait in every one of us that is worthy of being looked up to and admired for; if we choose to respect and further upon that skill or ability that we possess. The choice always lies within us. To view ourselves as worthy of the regard we actually want from the world. Always remember: You matter! Life is like a mirror, reflecting back everything we throw on it.  As much as we place our worth on what the world believes or perceives of us, we fail to acknowledge that we are who we look at ourselves as. That is how self-confidence is born. If you acknowledge your worth, you stand up for yourself. Once you stand up for yourself the world salutes you back. It’s the circle of life!

Is my partner right for me?

Was this the right choice?
Easy to ask others but pretty hard to get the answer from your own self when your relationship seems to be 'under the weather'. We make choices in life all the time: about so many things. Homes, schools, colleges, jobs, clothes, shoes, a fridge, curtains or a sofa; or even a toothbrush! There are always options and we choose what we feel is the best. Needless to say, in material issues there is always scope for trial and error and we can change most decisions in our life without much of a cost (which is anyways usually financial). But the hitch comes in when we invest emotions, time and commitment; not in a commodity, but in a person...

Keep that Spark Alive

According to some, romance comes naturally. The flawless love clubbed with the seamless luck and impeccable destiny. Some relationships just seem ‘perfect’, some couples seem to be ‘made for each other,’ and some people seem to just ‘have it in them to keep the fire burning’.

Isn’t it?

After you say 'I do'

The focus in marriage today largely is rightly shifting towards what happens ‘Before you say I do’ so that marriages become happily ever after concepts. Truly, no one enters a marriage thinking that it won’t last; no one dreams along knowing that the dream is only going to be shattered. Yet, divorce, a strong word, with religious, legal, emotional, familial and financial implications has become a frequent utterance and a reality for a growing number of couples today.

Before you say 'I do'

‘I do’

These are 2 of the shortest words in the English dictionary, yet they carry an extraordinarily heavy load of weight for a lifetime of the individuals who say them. Marriage, the most gigantic contentment of existence, sometimes turns out to be the most stupendous of sacraments; leading to destruction of lives of the couple. People today are marrying in haste and subsequently walking out in haste as well. The soaring divorce rates in India are astounding; but walking out is not the best option for either member of the marital dyad. It leaves behind social, emotional and psychological scarring which is difficult to mend.  It would be so much more desirable that couples had an idea of their future ahead so they make the appropriate decision before they tie the nuptial knot, rather than realize later that they were ‘simply not meant for each other!’

Don't let your crush 'crush' you!

When we say man is a social animal, in the real sense of the word; yes we are all animals. It would be inappropriate to deny the fact that we all have urges and needs and our own individual desires; which in many cases may be dark, hidden and unexpressed for our entire lifetime. Animals have instincts. And man is as animal as he can be. The difference is that he has the power to control urges when he feels it is appropriate to do so. But he does feel the urge as much as he may try hard to mask its expression. Human beings are all about sensuality and sexuality. Having a ‘crush’ is so normal; its just like breathing. And the more we run away from it, the more the idea continues to irk in the darkness of our mind’s closet. The more open we are about it and deal with it maturely; the better we are able to manage our emotions and make our lives fulfilling with our interactions with people around us.

Adolescents: Relating to Adults

As is well known and accepted and cannot be challenged; man is a social animal. Human beings need to build relationships, share, care, give, as well as take from those around them. Relationships can be equated with energy in the world, flowing between hearts and brains of all human beings. Just like the laws of physics that say that the total quantum of energy in the universe is constant; it just keeps getting transformed into diverse forms; so also relationships keep building between people- a vegetable vendor, a postman, a teacher, an employer, an employee, a parent, friend, lover or spouse; all are examples of relationships you build on because you NEED them. And teenage is the most important time for building these connections. Healthy bonds with the appropriate elders in your life assure a gradual and graceful progress to a strong and confident adulthood.

Teens: Beware of the wrong company!

Company that is wrong, invariably never seems wrong to those who have fallen prey to it! If you do not value education, are often anti-parents and pro-alcohol, tobacco, drugs, and casual sex; and you thrive on irreverent and often obnoxious music; you will probably proclaim that you have good and loyal friends who support you in all this.  You may also insist that they're much nicer and less shallow than the other boring ones around. But these are the people who come under the category of WRONG COMPANY. These negative peers may indeed be kinder to you than some other teens around. You may try to become secretive about them, you may think that your parents are over controlling, and you may protest that parents have no right to say with whom you can be friends or foes. But you have to be honest to yourself. You have to know what is good for you, what is right and what is not!

Choose your friends wisely

In ancient Rome in 106BC, Cicero spoke of a sacred bond that allowed a person to care and be concerned for another with honesty, trust and truth. These were the distinct qualities that bound two individuals together and this bond soon came to be known as FRIENDSHIP. He claimed that when one of the two persons became ‘EVIL’ the bond was broken and the friendship ended!

Relax!

'Relax' a piece of advice very commonly given. It's always easier said than done. Consciously, subconsciously and unconsciously we are stressed about something or the other, some of the time or all of the time. Guided relaxation helps you to ease your mind and body, not just while you do it; but also for the hours that follow. Here is a guided breathing and muscle exercise to help you relax your mind and body...

The right career choice

'Yehi hai right choice baby!'

Easy to say so in a Cola commercial, but not so easy when you have to select a profession. Work forms one third of our life. An average human being works for 6 to 8 hours a day whereas most work more than that.

When Robert Frost said in his poem: ‘Two Roads diverged into the deep woods and sad I could not take both’ he was expressing the difficulty one has in making choices and staying focused...

One choice out of two is so difficult; imagine when you have a sea of choices to select from? It becomes impossible to know what will be right choice for you to make at that important crossroad in your life.

Help I don't have any friends!

The age old saying we all have heard goes…The best way to find a friend…is to be one…In fact we can modify it and say that the ONLY way to find a friend is to be one! Friendship is not an abstract term for which offer a hundred definitions in order to understand and explain what it really means. Friendship is lived. There are no two friends who have the same emotions and feelings towards each other as two other friends may have. Friendship is a bond, interestingly unique to those who share it. It’s a bond that one arrives at not even realizing how and where it came from, yet seems to be eternal and timeless.

Teenage Crisis

The crowd was cheering on: ‘Go Sachin go Sachin go’ and ‘We want Sachin, we want Sachin’. The adrenaline levels in Sachin’s veins should have been soaring. His mind would have had racing thoughts, no? What if this does not happen right? I have been waiting for this. More than me the whole world has been waiting for this. What if I do not live up to what I believed I could? Will I let people down? Will I let myself down? Will I let my country down? The apprehension must have been tremendous in his mind don’t you think? And then Shakib Al Hasan’s the ball came as if from nowhere; and the smooth single, lead Sachin to the 100^th run of his 100^th century…