Learn to love thyself

Love: the concept

A frequently misapprehended notion, love becomes even more inscrutable when one delves into its depth. It’s easy to think, say it aloud and even behave accordingly, when we love our pets and parents and spouse and job and the smoked cheese pizza from our favorite food joint. No one questions us on the same; we seldom interrogate ourselves either on why we feel the way we do about people, objects and ideas. A rarely cogitated zone here is the love for oneself. Many feel they love themselves enough and are tuned to altruism, several are so self absorbed that they get adjudged as selfish and self-centered creatures who love none other themselves, while the truth is that most are oblivious to the true concept of self love…

Loving myself: the thought

Love is presumed to comprise admiration, concern, care and conscious longing for the betterment of the loved object; including frequent indulgence into their whims. Intent may not always match action, however. Not knowing ‘how’ to love is a common error in the commitment. Mere binding serves no purpose if it leads to iniquitous outcomes. So may be true for the self too. Think about it:

• I should sleep a bit more than I currently do
• I should be more specific about my schedule
• I should structure a good diet plan for myself
• I really shouldn't be smoking as much as I do
• I need to connect better with those who matter

The resolve to do good, needs to be apt. The self-revering thought must arouse an appropriate emotion that prompts suitable action.

Loving myself: the feeling

Often enough, people don't ‘feel’ like doing the right thing for themselves. Admissibly so, the wrong is eternally easier, quicker and normally immediately rewarding. Righteousness always calls for sacrifice, effort and pain. However when the drive to do it comes from within, hard work seems like a breeze, pain becomes rewarding and the positive outcome becomes a much-coveted prize.

• I feel I need to exercise and keep healthy
• I want to go for the annual medical check
• I feel that I need to get a little more active
• I feel like seeking help to sort my smoking
• I will spend more time with friends and family

Emotions drive the most wearisome and painstaking actions to accomplishments. Few do things that they don't ‘feel like’ doing.

Loving myself: the action

Self-regard as an outcome is not merely what you think and feel for yourself. It’s what you choose to do for yourself, keeping favorable outcomes in mind (fools would be precarious enough to disregard outcomes). There are enough actions that cannot be justified no matter how hard one tries to defend their occurrence:

• Anger
• Smoking
• Alcoholism
• Not exercising
• Not sleeping enough
• Not expressing yourself

For instance, the drinker justifies that he or she is drowning his or her own woes; rightfully evading the soreness of the world. However, self-agony is felonious enough to warrant penalty. In this case one is offering oneself the punishment by the action itself, failing to realize it! So much for the fuss of love and regard for the self eventually amounting to the worst form of self-detestation. Change!

• I will get more organized and waste less time
• I will work to keep my weight under check
• I’ll spend time with family because I like it
• I’ll get help and cut down on my drinking

Do not be trapped in the vicious cycle of self-gratification, which is truly self-torture and eventually predisposes to self-blame. Grow to love yourself and treat yourself right.

love peace and happiness are connected deeply

Gain mindfulness

Realization is the first step to change. The execution of all actions ought to be toned with love for yourself in the virtuous way.  Just as you cannot indulge in children, give them all that they want, transforming them into ravenous human beings who cannot delay gratifying impulses; you cannot choose the wrong actions and believe that they are appropriate for you, your mind and your existence. Learn to live right. Learn to love yourself…