How are you, socially?

Being the center of attention is exciting. Limelight, propaganda, publicity are good when they get you positive attention. Human nature circumvents all potential uncomfortable situations and evaluations that may have negative consequences on one’s performance, ability or character. An examination or presentation for which one is unprepared is not exhilarating. Some have the ability to fight the situation; others react with nervousness. Social phobia is relatively common today.

The incessant need for stressAlmost everyone experiences unease in situations that involve potential evaluation by others. A job interview, elocution, public speech, a first date; all lead to a certain quantum of anxiety. Everyone wishes to do well and be held in high regard when facing others, and in all these situations, a certain amount of positive stress has the ability to enhance one's performance. It keeps one vigil, watchful and prepared. The stress performance graph is linear till a certain point. That’s the limit of positive stress everyone needs to optimize public performance.

Expectations should be reasonable

Some personalities can be too perfectionistic and self-critical. It seems as if they don't love themselves enough at a deeper psychological level because they don't appreciate themselves for who they are. They build up an incapacitating level of anxiety, which can emerge as a desire for escape or avoidance. They really don't want to escape or avoid the task; it’s the fear of negative outcome of that task that builds up the stress. One must set reasonable standards for oneself as well as the world. If expectations are too extreme and exacting, then self-evaluation turns negative. It allows anticipating a negative evaluation from others too, which is not actually appropriate.

What social phobia feels like

Commonly, people with social phobia experience physical occurrences such as blushing, trembling, dryness in the mouth, shaking or perspiring; all physiological signs of stress. This is only worsened by the fear that they will be observed by others to add to their perceived incompetence. It is but natural that people would tend to run from the anxiety-provoking situation (escape) or forego the situation entirely (avoidance). Then, when they are faced with the situation, the anxiety becomes unbearable. It may provoke an extreme state of panic attack too, in some circumstances.

It feels horrible

Social phobia is incapacitating and leads to deficiency in social, educational and vocational functioning. Sufferers find it difficult to initiate and maintain social or romantic relationships, avoid classes that involve public presentations; some may even discontinue education and take up jobs below their ability to avoid social demands. Life really doesn't progress to where it really could, not for limitation in ability to perform, but the fear of the outcome of the battle that prevented one form fighting it in the first place. A sure recipe for failure.

There is hope, really

In spite of the trouble that people with social phobias go through, it is a problem with the most infrequent professional visits because people are too inhibited to even seek treatment. In fact the phobia itself prevents them from coming forth and admitting that they have a problem. There's a beautiful life out there. It's worth living it. It's worth giving yourself a chance. Really...